But.
Maybe, I can’t fully trust Midas either.
The moment that traitorous thought slips out, I realize I’ve spoken it aloud. It’s a whispered confession, a sorrowful revelation for only the waning warmth of the coals to hear.
I sit up in my pallet and pull on my dress, the thing loose
and overly worn now, dirty no matter how many times I try to wash it by hand. I slip on my torn coat and pull on my boots, deciding to walk around since sleep is eluding me.
I haven’t seen Rip since our argument last night.
I shouldn’t care. It shouldn’t matter. Except I feel like he’s avoiding me, punishing me, and it’s twisting me up inside.
Ducking out of the tent, I’m greeted by the crunch of my boots on fresh snow. We’re camped beside a small frozen lake tonight, and it glistens beneath a crescent moon.
Without really meaning to, I find myself walking to the east side of camp, where the saddles are.
I stop outside of the tent, noting the same two guards who let me visit when Lu was with me. They look up from their game—cards this time.
The one nearest me with brown hair raises his brows in surprise. “My lady,” he greets. “Haven’t seen you for a few days.”
“Yeah,” I mumble, not giving an explanation. “Is it alright if I visit them?”
“It’s late,” the other one says. “But you can stay for a few minutes. I heard some of them whispering in there, so I know they’re awake.”
I nod and move toward the tent flaps, but before I can lift them, someone pushes out and blocks my path.
I flinch back at her sudden appearance. “Polly.”
Her blonde hair is in two thick braids, though it’s tangled and greasy, and she looks thinner than usual. No golden flecks of makeup to adorn her face, no fancy dress, no coy smile. She looks weary, yet there’s a hardness in her eyes.
“Gild,” she says back, crossing her arms. “What are you doing here?”
I shift on my feet at the tone of her voice. “Umm, I just wanted to visit. See how you guys are doing.”
“We’re fine,” she snaps.
My eyes flick to the tent she’s blocking and back to her face. “Is there something wrong?”
She shakes her head. “Everyone heard your voice out here, but they sent me out. You can’t come in.”
My brow falls into a frown. “Why not?”
Her blue eyes hold no warmth as she looks at me. “No one wants to see you.”
I flinch at her embittered tone.
I feel the soldiers on my right shift on their stools, like they’re embarrassed for me, which only makes my cheeks burn in shame.
“You need to stop coming here,” Polly says haughtily. “We don’t like you, and we don’t want you poking your nose in our business just for you to report back to your new Fourth army friends.”
“What?”
Polly rolls her eyes. “Oh, please. Like we don’t know? You get to walk around freely, Auren. We know you’ve turned into the commander’s little whore.”
My mouth drops open in shock, and for a moment, my brain stumbles, unable to process. “That’s... I am not his whore.”
The bored look on her face tells me she doesn’t believe me at all. “The soldiers here talk, you know. You stay in his tent every night. We aren’t stupid, and we won’t let you use us to betray our king. Don’t come back again, traitor.”