The confused frown morphs into a scowl, and his tone grows incredulous. “Of course we need it. That fact should be blatantly clear after what you just endured.”
“But that’s what I’m trying to tell you. It’s because of what I endured that we don’t,” I hastily explain, tugging my hands from his. “I spent all that time with the army, and everything was okay. I know how to handle myself now. I proved it to myself, and I know that once I tell you everything, I’ll prove it to you too.”
I relied on the cage for too long. And then I resented it—resented him, resented myself. I don’t want to go back to that. I’ve outgrown it, and I’m finally strong enough to admit it to him.
Midas lets out a long-suffering sigh and rubs his blond eyebrows with his thumb and forefinger. From my peripheral, I can see my decoy watching us with rapt attention.
“Auren, I know you just experienced some terrible things, but for now, I need to go meet with King Ravinger. Afterward, once it’s dark out, I’ll bring you out for a bath and a meal, and we’ll talk, alright?”
I shake my head, hands held up in front of me. “No, it’s not alright. Just listen for a minute—”
He cuts me off. “I don’t have time for this. Get into the cage.”
He’s doing what he usually does—talking over me, making me feel like I’m always wrong and he’s always right. If I could just get him to listen, to really hear me, then he would understand.
He’s under a lot of pressure right now with Fourth Kingdom breathing down his neck, and I don’t want to add more stress to him. I know that, at the heart of it, he craves this control because he was worried about me, so I understand the root of his reactions. But...I need him to understand mine too.
For once, I need him to see my side.
I don’t want to be cowed by him. I want to set a different tone now than the way things were before. I want to start off on the right foot and have a fresh beginning. Show him how things can be, that I’m ready for it. That I need it.
I take a calming breath. “It doesn’t have to be this way anymore.” My tone is gentle, as if it can draw out that softer side of him too.
Silence stretches between us, and it’s filled with the reactions that play over his face, a song with the rhythm of his disapproval and disagreement. I don’t want to hear it.
“We don’t need it. Trust me. Things are different now. I’m different now,” I say, pointing at my chest. “Things don’t have to be the way they were in Highbell.” I tilt my chin up. “And I don’t want them to be.”
He stands so still, and he’s looking at me like he’s never seen me before, and maybe I’m looking at him like that too.
Midas blinks at me for another moment before he runs a frustrated hand down his face. He starts pacing the small dressing room, shoes scuffing over the purple rug on the floor.
“I’m trying to be patient with you right now, considering what you’ve been through, but you’re making this very difficult,” he says before turning back to me. “You’ve never behaved this way before.”
I bristle from his chastisement, but he’s right. I haven’t, not with him.
Two months ago, I would’ve backed down immediately. I would’ve never pushed him in the first place. But I’m changed now, and the worries, the dangers—we can work through those together.
But the thought of being shoved back in a cage, especially one so small…
Osrik’s words blare in my ears.
I’ll never get how you fucking stand it.
Right now, in this moment, I realize.
I can’t.
Chapter 38
AUREN
My traitorous eyes flick over to the cage.
I take in its thick, menacing iron, its six curled pieces looped around the top to add decorative flair, before I look back at Midas.
“I know you’re in a rush, and I don’t want to make you late, so I’ll stay in your rooms while you go to the meeting, and then we’ll talk after.”
He pins me with a fiery glare. “I don’t know what the hell is going on with you, but you’re not in charge, Auren. I’m your king, remember? You will do as I say.”