“Yes. He’s stuck in the mountains because his car broke down, but he apologized and sent me the address for the apartment I rented.”
“Where is it?”
“In Hollywood. Perfect for me, right?”
He picked up his coffee and took a drink without answering. After setting it back down, he said, “After breakfast, I’ll take you.”
“I thought Ellen—”
“I talked to her earlier. She forgot about something she had to do today, of course, so I offered to take you.”
“Oh.” I felt guilty for being glad Ellen was busy, but I liked the prospect of more time with Derek, even if it was just a car ride. “Thank you. You’ve done so much for me already. I hope this doesn’t interfere with your day.”
He didn’t look up from his breakfast. “No big deal. I’m having some friends over for dinner, but that’s not until later. I’ll have plenty of time to prepare.”
“Are you sure?” I asked. “With guests coming, it feels like too much to ask of you.”
He finally met my eyes. “It’s not. I want to take you.”
Our eyes met, and gooseflesh blanketed my arms. Nothing else was said, yet it felt as if something more was exchanged.
But then he looked down again, and the feeling was gone.
Nine
DEREK
While I’d been at the gym punishing myself with an especially grueling workout this morning, Ellen had called and left a voicemail begging me for another favor—could I please help Maxim locate his friend today and drive him where he needed to go?
On the way home, I’d called her back and given her a ton of shit about it, although secretly I didn’t mind. I genuinely liked Maxim and wanted to make sure he was okay, plus my head felt much clearer this morning.
It was the dark that had gotten to me last night.
The late hour.
The wine.
The loneliness.
And Maxim was very charismatic. It was exactly the right combination of factors to mess with me, make me think I wanted something I didn’t. Today would be different. I could never confess my sin out loud, but I could at least atone for it by doing him kindness. And if I felt any inkling of what I’d felt last night, I wouldn’t let it overwhelm me—I’d fight back.
Then I saw him in my clothes, and the first thing I thought was, Take them off. Not because I don’t want you to have them, but because I want to put them on right now, feel them on my body like I want to feel you there.
Not exactly fighting words.
But I rallied, keeping my thoughts clean even as he moved around my kitchen like he lived there. It felt so good I had to talk myself down. It’s not him. It’s because you’re lonely. You want someone to share your life with. You want this kind of closeness with someone. You like taking care of people, and he seems to need it. Don’t confuse that for anything else.
During breakfast, I’d been okay as long as we didn’t make eye contact. Because every time we did, I felt like I unwittingly gave away a little piece of my secret. It was unnerving, the effect he had on me. I’d never experienced anything like it.
Sunglasses. That would help.
I reached for a pair on the back hall shelf and slipped them on. “Ready to go?”
“Yes,” he said, showing me the screen of his phone. “Here’s the address.”
I cringed a little at the thought of an apartment in that area, but to Maxim Hollywood probably sounded like the most glamorous address in California. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. “Got it.”
On the way there, I asked him what his plan was.