“Nope. Finally taking my advice?”
I shake my head, looking straight ahead. “Just trying to keep the peace, puppet master.”
“Good.” He says it calmly, like he lacks investment in whether or not I listen to his warning. “I’d hate to have to crush you publicly. You’re so far beneath me, it just seems mean-spirited.”
“Do you get off by mocking and threatening me?” I ask him.
“No, I get off when your eager little mouth works my cock,” he informs me.
I look left, then right, then glare at him. “Could you not? I’m already referred to by the entire student populace as Zoey the ho. Ironically, for not wantin’ sexual attention from a viable male, but they’re not the brightest bulbs in the box; they’ll probably forget the actual reason and turn me into the class whore.”
“I can stop that, too,” he informs me casually. “My friends set the tone around here. If I make them stop picking on you, everyone else will, too.”
“I don’t want your help. I can guess what kind of strings come along with it.”
“I’m gonna fuck you eventually, Ellis. You should stop fighting it. Hell, maybe accept my help and get something out of it.” Tapping his temple, he says, “Use your brain.”
“You are delusional,” I inform him.
Carter shakes his head. “Nah, I just know how to get what I want.”
“It doesn’t count as ‘getting what you want’ if you just take it,” I tell him.
“Sure it does. I haven’t exhausted all my efforts yet, though. I haven’t resorted to taking yet, now, have I?”
Since his tone seems to convey I should be appreciative of his restraint, I can’t help shaking my head at him. “You really are a spoiled little rich boy, aren’t you? You should try actually workin’ for something for once in your life. Not resolving to take it if your efforts aren’t good enough, but open yourself up to actually failing. Give yourself some real stakes. You might find it strangely exciting.”
Carter smiles at me like I’ve just tipped my hand. “You want me to find you exciting, Zoey Ellis?”
“I was not talking about me,” I reply, rolling my eyes.
“Sure you were.” He finally drops his arm from around my shoulder, just before backing away. “I’ll think about it, how’s that?”
I nod my head. “You do that. Consider bein’ a decent person. See if you can figure out how to do it.”
Flashing me a grin, he tells me, “I’m a straight-A student, remember? I think I can manage.”
“We’ll see,” I reply, before he turns and disappears into the crowd.
Chapter 6
I do end up going with Grace for a coffee date after school. Iced coffee may not solve all of life’s problems, but to be honest, after handling Carter so effectively in the hallway after history class, I’m feeling a little better about mine. I can’t stand being bested by someone just because they have more money or more power than me. I hate being silenced by something like fear. But competing on even ground, that’s fair. As long as I stand a chance of winning the game, I don’t mind playing.
The problem, of course, is even if Carter pretends to play by the rules, he could stop at any time. He probably didn’t even mean what he said in the hall, he was just running his mouth. Cheaters don’t have to play by the rules, and he doesn’t mind being a cheater.
Still, I’m feeling less like a victim and more like someone with a little control over her life, so I take advantage and try to be a normal teenager for the rest of the day.
Thursday doesn’t feel as daunting. I’m not as afraid of seeing Carter (or any of the other guys) at school. In fact, I’m wondering if I’m the one giving them all their power. If I let them make me afraid, then yeah, their intimidation works. If I refuse to betray awkwardness or discomfort in their presence, I’m taking away the only power they have over me without committing a crime.
It was different when they had me cornered in a classroom on Monday, but now the halls are swimming with students and faculty. Honestly, it feels like another world. I don’t like having a secret with those three assholes, but no one else knows about it. Maybe if no one else knows, it doesn’t have to be real.
I made it real with Jake when I told on him, and boy, did that not go well. Since telling on Carter is off the table anyway, I’m going to control this as long as I possibly can.
Carter and I don’t talk at all Thursday. After class he heads out without looking at me, and I tell myself I’ve probably already lost his interest, just by implying he might stand a chance if he actually tried.