It’s a daunting walk from my locker to the cafeteria, but after dumping my books in my locker, that’s where I head. Dread fills me at the mere sight of the open double doors, at the buzz of chatter coming from within.
I don’t want to go in there. Stopping just short of entering, I take one more fortifying breath, then I square my shoulders, lift my chin, and march through the doors.
I guess the nice thing about the cafeteria is nothing much ever changes. Even being absent from the lunch room for so many weeks, everything is more or less the same. The same groups of kids sitting at the same tables—especially the popular tables. The jocks and the cheerleaders. They may as well have their names stamped on the tables and their accompanying benches, because even if they were all absent one day, no one would dare sit in their places.
Some of the other kids are at different tables, but in the same groups as usual.
My perusal of the room stops short when I feel Carter’s eyes on me. I turn my head to meet his gaze and he frowns, cocking his head in confusion. I avoid the cafeteria like the plague, so he must wonder what brought me here.
I smile blandly, holding his gaze as I reach into the small school purse dangling by my hip. His gaze follows the movement, then darts back to my face, still confused. I pull out the cash he gave me Friday night and hold it up for him to see. His scowl deepens. My smile widens, then I break eye contact altogether and make my way over to the table where several members of my youth group sit, eating their lunch.
Luke looks up as I approach. His sandwich is frozen halfway to his mouth. Since I’m looking right at him with a look of determination on my face, he puts it down and offers up a pleasant smile and scoots down to make room for me.
“Finally comin’ back to our table?” he surmises.
I shake my head. “No, I’m not staying. I just wanted to give you this,” I tell him, holding out my babysitting earnings.
He looks at the money with a frown, then looks back up at me. “What…?”
“I heard what happened to your car, and I felt terrible about it,” I explain, dropping my gaze, not quite able to meet his gaze.
“Yeah,” he mumbles.
“I recently came into a little extra cash though. I was plannin’ to waste it on something I didn’t need, but it feels right to use it to help a friend instead.”
Beaming up at me then over at Luke, Grace says, “What a blessing.”
I nod and look back at Luke. “I know this doesn’t cover all the damage that was done, but… I just wanted to…”
He doesn’t make me finish. Nodding his head as the money transfers from my hands to his, he says, “Thank you, Zoey. You really don’t have to do this.”
“I feel…” Responsible. I can’t say that though, because it implicates Carter. As much as I probably should be ready and willing to turn Carter over for his crimes, I’m not. I don’t even think they would stick. This town would let Carter out of a rape accusation, so really, what’s a little vandalism as long as he takes the team to the championships?
Ugh. Gross.
Shaking it off, I clear my throat and offer up a weak smile. “I want to. Please let me know if there’s anything else I can do.”
Now that my mission has been accomplished, I excuse myself from my old table as quickly as possible and turn back around. Before I head for the exit, I decide to walk over to Carter’s table. Clearly understanding what I have just done, he does not look remotely amused. He looks pretty pissed, and just being so close to his temper turns my blood hot. A mental image floats across my mind of him grabbing me, pushing me down on the table, and taking me right here in front of everyone. My body throbs in response, but I try to shake it off and stay focused.
He really has broken me, hasn’t he?
Ignoring the heat, I walk around the table and stop behind him. Wrapping an arm around him from behind, I lean down and whisper in his ear, “Turns out I don’t have money for that dress, after all. Guess you’re gonna have to find another date to homecoming.”
Carter faintly shakes his head, but he doesn’t respond verbally. All of his friends are sitting at the table. None of them know what just happened, but they’re all casting looks at me—some confused, some guessing and getting it dead-wrong, others who missed that Carter and I even broke up in the first place. In any case, Carter isn’t going to let me embarrass him in front of his friends, so he can’t say shit to me about what I just did.