“It was.”
“No. It wasn’t. Trust me, I know what harsh is.” When he flinched, she sighed and reached out for him. Her hand cupped his wrist as he rubbed her cheek with his thumb. “Look, let’s not ignore the elephant in the room. So long as you don’t hit me, I’m not going to find anything you do all that excessive.”
Anger raged through Josh. “It isn’t right that you feel that way, dammit.”
“No, but living through what I have, does that to a person.” She smiled at him sadly. “It’s okay. I’m okay. I won’t let you treat me badly.”
He closed his eyes. “I won’t treat you badly, but I don’t want you to think that I’m…” He shook his head. “I should never have said anything.”
“No, that’s just it. You should have done. This is obviously something that’s been on your mind.”
“Maybe,” he said, hedging his bets. Then, the concierge cleared his throat, drawing Josh’s attention. He nodded, and murmured, “The car’s here.”
“Okay,” she said, “but I don’t want to stop talking about this. It feels important.”
That was exactly the problem. It was, and damn him, he wasn’t sure how she was about to take it.
Would she joke?
Would she tease him as she was wont to do?
He’d been seeing so many new sides of her, sides that he loved, but it meant he was never sure which Samantha he’d get.
For so long, he’d seen her as Jamie’s wife. And, now he knew what had been happening behind closed doors, he knew how docile she’d been, and how that had been a front.
It hurt him to think she couldn’t monitor if he was being a jerk or not—and that her idea of real shitty behavior from him came in the form of a slap. It was so unhealthy, but there was nothing he could do. Just teach her by fucking loving her, he guessed as he helped her into the car, and slid in beside her.
Because he did.
It was fast. It was crazy. She was his best friend’s wife, and he should never have gotten involved… but circumstances dictated otherwise, and now, if given the opportunity, he’d never get rid of her.
Not for a single day in his goddamn miserable life.
Chapter 19
Samantha
The tension bleeding off Josh put her on edge.
She wasn’t sure what was wrong. He’d been great all night. The evening had been totally boring, but together, they’d made it fun as they usually did most things.
Josh had a surprisingly slapstick sense of humor that didn’t often come out. She got the feeling she brought it out in him, and she was really pleased about that.
Tonight had been tedious as hell, what with all the speeches and then the lousy food and the crummy band, but together, they’d gelled well as they always did.
Always.
It was getting to be a scary watchword for her.
Whenever she thought of him, it was never in temporary measurements of time. It was with ‘always’ and ‘forever’, and no matter what Josh said, she knew he wasn’t that kind of guy.
In all the time she’d known him, in all the time Jamie had, she didn’t think he’d ever dated anyone longer than what they’d been dating. Or if he had, it was a mistress he’d been keeping on the sly.
Fuck, the man kept mistresses… Ugh, she hated the very notion.
She hadn’t dared tell Jessica, who would totally pitch a fit, every single one of her feminist wiles bristling to attention at that tidbit of gossip.
Still, they all made mistakes. Hadn’t she made a huge one? Why shouldn’t Josh be allowed to make the same errors in judgment?