The sound of a knock at the door in the background had her tensing. “It’s okay,” she said quickly, preempting him before he could apologize. “I’ll see you tonight.”
“Good. Until later.” She heard him inhale, then he whispered, “Bye, love.”
Love.
What that one term of endearment could do to her.
She bit her lip to hide the wide grin that longed to make her mouth curve. Then, Erin let out a squeal, and laughing, she went to find out what had excited him so.
***
Hours later, after she’d placed the dough for the homemade pizzas in the oven that would be perfect for movie night, she watched as Erin showed Josh the many features of the new gadget in their midst. Somehow, he’d managed to learn what all the buttons meant—what was it with kids? He was so young too, and yet, he could already navigate her smartphone better than she could.
She’d already had to install a child lock, dammit.
But thoughts of Erin’s smarts disappeared as she watched Josh with Erin. He was so patient, she thought, her mind quite dreamy as she watched him listen, head cocked, interest unfeigned as he gave her child his attention.
She didn’t think Jamie had ever listened or interacted with their son for as long as Josh had. When Erin had been a baby, neither man had done much more than smile, wiggle one of Erin’s hands, and in Jamie’s case, pass the baby over if he’d soiled himself.
This was probably the first chunk of attention Erin had ever had from a man.
She couldn’t stop the tears that prickled her eyes as the scents of oregano and baking dough permeated the kitchen and trailed out into the hallway.
Touched, but feeling silly because of the tears, she chuckled softly at herself and retreated to the kitchen. She hadn’t meant to watch the boys together, hadn’t wanted it to feel like she was supervising, but having heard their laughs merging, loud enough for her to overhear, she’d wanted to see them. Wanted to see it for herself.
And what a sight.
Her beautiful boy, so bright and sunny, giggling away as the handsome brute at his side listened intently, not seeming to care that every other word Erin uttered was more of a babble than anything else.
Pulling out the pizzas now they were ready, she dished them out, cut them into slices, and after switching off the stove, grabbed the plates and headed out of the kitchen.
When Josh saw her, he leaped to his feet, but she waved him off by wiggling the plates. “Don’t worry, I’ve got them.” With a ‘ta-da’, she placed them on the coffee table which was set with beakers of soda and water for them all.
“You didn’t have to go to all this trouble. I could have ordere—”
“Why order in when I get a kick out of making it myself?” she asked primly, and took a seat opposite him, on the floor, crossing her legs lotus-style.
He cocked a brow at her. “How come I get the couch?”
“Age before beauty,” she told him, tongue in cheek, laughing when his eyes flared then swiftly narrowed.
“Cheeky minx,” he retorted, then eying the pizza asked, “Which is mine?”
She shrugged. “Have whichever you want. We share, don’t we, baby?” she asked her little man who was kneeling at her side, peering at the pizzas like he wanted to dive into them headfirst.
She grabbed a slice of margherita, knowing that he wouldn’t eat the other pieces. It was why she’d done a full margarita and two halves on the other—one of pepperoni and the other of mushroom.
The slices on the plain pizza were small, kid-sized, and when Erin got his hands on one, he made a dramatic humming sound of pleasure.
“Hot, hot, hot,” he cackled after, blowing out a deep breath then wiggling his fingers in front of his mouth.
“They’re fresh from the oven, silly,” she teased, reaching for a slice of mushroom. When she took a bite, Sam noticed Josh hadn’t, that he was staring at the two of them in a way she couldn’t read.
He was leaning forward, his elbows on his knees, his shoulders crouched forward as he watched them, but she didn’t feel uneasy. The small smile gracing his lips was difficult to read but that didn’t stop her from discerning that he was content with the moment.
Maybe he was asking himself how it had come to pass that, on a Thursday evening, he was eating pizza with a preschooler and his best friend’s widow, but the smile confirmed he didn’t want to be anywhere else. Relief and happiness settled in her heart. Even though she was uncertain about the future, she wanted Josh. It was an unusual truth, but she refused to lie to herself.
There would be no gain to her not being honest about her feelings for Josh, because the sentiments he inspired in her were worthy of note. She’d never experienced them before, and knew that even as he excited her and made her smile, he also made her feel safe.