He’d avoided it and her, pulled away, freed himself from the clinging vines of what she made him feel… but now? Now she was here with him? This coup de foudre as the French called it, it slammed him to the ground and destroyed all his defenses.
“Please, don’t pull away,” he murmured as they swayed in each other’s arms, their bodies brushing in a perfect tangent. “I know it’s frightening, and I know it’s crazy, but let’s just…” He licked his lips, unsure of how to calm her down, to reassure her.
“Breathe.”
The word came from her, and as she didn’t tense up or pull away, he figured that had to be a good sign.
“Yeah,” he admitted softly. “Let’s just breathe. We can do this. We can handle this. It’s not a bad thing.”
“Isn’t it? I’m hardly ready for anything of this nature, Josh,” she whispered softly. “You know that.”
“No. I know you’re still coming down from what he did to you, but that’s your past and present. I want to be your future.”
She pulled back, but not to move away. He had to fight himself not to band his arms around her hips and to hold her close. Instead, she stared up at him and whispered, “How can you say that? You’ve just told me that your mistress is here. She wasn’t your first. Neither will she be your last. How can I be your future when you’re the kind of guy who has a mistress?” She paused. “I don’t fit in with that kind of thing, Josh. Jamie was many things but I knew he wasn’t a cheater.” She rolled her eyes. “I used to wish he was, but he was too obsessed with me for me to have to think about anything like that. And I’m used to that, I guess. He had many undesirable traits,” she murmured carefully, grimacing as she peered around them. “Many,” she reiterated, “but that was actually a good one. I don’t want that kind of lifestyle, Josh. I really don’t.”
“Why do you think I got rid of Jasmine, Samantha?” he asked her, his tone urgent.
“I don’t know,” she admitted on a sigh, a sigh so deep she almost went limp in his arms as she sank into him.
He felt every inch of her press against him, and knew that she was made to be there—how he knew, he didn’t fucking care. It was as obvious to him as his hair color or the fact the ability to make billions was in his genes.
“If I wanted that, I could have kept her. I didn’t have to tell you about her.”
“Good luck with that when she’s across the room glowering at us,” she mumbled against his shirt.
He turned to seek out his ex-lover and did, indeed, find her glowering at them. He narrowed his eyes at her, waiting her out, refusing to blink until she moved her head and shifted focus from them.
“I could have told you she was an angry ex. I didn’t have to tell you the truth of our relationship, did I?”
“No,” she conceded. “You were brutally honest, that’s for sure.”
Though he winced, he inserted quickly, “I don’t want to lie to you.”
“Good. That’s a fabulous start.”
Her wry tone put him on edge. Why? He wasn’t entirely sure.
Then, it came to him.
He was so used to everyone being serious with him, everyone listening to his next breath like it was scripture, never mind his words. Everyone wanted a piece of him. They wanted advice, wanted to pepper him for news on the stocks—which to buy and which to dump. They wanted everything he had to give.
But she wasn’t like that.
Shit, when had he become such a self-important dick? When had he started to believe his own press?
Letting out a shaky breath as this revelation came at the same time as he thought he was fighting for his life with Samantha, he murmured, “I didn’t have to tell you about Jasmine, did I? I could have bypassed it entirely. Instead, I was honest with you. To my detriment because now you think I’m one way when I’m not.”
She rubbed her forehead against his chest. “I’m not ready for this.”
“You think you’re not ready.” He could feel her tense, but he pressed a kiss to the top of her crown to soothe her. “I’m not whitewashing your words, I’m just trying to explain. You think you’re not ready, but you’ll never be ready. I know the situation, and I’m not trying to push you into anything too quickly. If anything, I’m asking you to think about starting something with me. This, what we have together, it blows my mind, Samantha. I’m trying to figure out why it doesn’t blow yours.”
“Of course it does,” she whispered thickly. “How can you say that? Josh, I’ve slept with two men in my life. My husband and you now. I don’t sleep around lightly.”
“Then what happened that day?”
“I don’t know what or why, I just know that it did.” She frowned at him. “I see no point in questioning it when it’s already done.”
“No, I don’t either, so why are we questioning why it happened when it already did, and we both know how we made each other feel.”