Peter
"I love you so much," she whispered.
As soon as the words left her mouth my knees wanted to buckle. She loved me. I'd been so sure that it was all in my head, that she couldn't possibly feel that way about me that hearing it damn near broke me. I held her tighter in my arms.
"You mean that, baby?"
Joanne nodded and wiped her eyes. "I don't even know when it happened. One minute you were my best friend and then I didn't want to leave here," she confessed.
I wiped her tears as they spilled down her pink cheeks. "Why are you crying?" I asked. "Isn't this a good thing?"
Joanne shrugged and sniffled. I watched as she shifted her foot and kicked at the snow. Something weighed heavily on her mind and I had no idea what it was. She finally glanced up at me and sighed.
"I'm afraid you're going to want someone else."
"Me? Want someone else? “I asked shocked. “Who the hell could I ever want besides you?"
She rubbed her arm. "Kelly. Or someone like Kelly. I met her and she talked about how close the two of you had been. I'm nothing like her, Peter. She's a woman that's perfect for you. Well put together, smart, successful, always impeccably fashionable." She sniffled. "The two of you would make the perfect couple and the most perfect babies and I couldn't touch that even if I tried."
Joanne sobbed and I stared at her in surprise.
Is that what the hell's been on her mind?
I couldn't believe how much self-doubt and fear had been in her head. All that time I thought it was me that she wasn't satisfied with, but it was herself.
How the hell could anyone not be satisfied with her?
I captured her cheeks in my big, rough hands and cradled them. My heart swelled watching her cry over something so completely stupid. In my mind, no one compared to her. I leaned down and kissed her forehead. My lips trailed down until I kissed each of her cheeks softly. I pulled back and sighed as I brushed the hair off of her face.
"Joanne, I want you to listen and listen to me good you hear?"
She nodded. "O-okay," she sniffled as her shoulders jumped up and down involuntarily from how hard she'd been crying.
I smiled. If that wasn't the cutest damn thing I'd ever seen I really didn't know what was.
The fact that she cried over not being good enough for me made me want to melt. She really wasn't selfish. Sure, she'd put herself first in life, but I could see why. She was scared. I wasn't going to let her be scared anymore.
"I love you, Joanne. I love you from your wild hair in the morning to your disgusting morning breath."
She shoved me. "Shut up!" She laughed.
"I do. I love you when you're singing in the shower at the top of your lungs and when you're quiet and you just hold me. I love that you love my dog and you don't care if he jumps up on you with muddy paws. I love the fact that you trek out in freezing weather to check on the cattle with me and then you help feed them. I love the fact that you eat like a grown man who hasn't seen food in ten days."
"Peter," she warned.
I ignored her. The fact that the corners of her mouth quirked up meant that she knew exactly what I was saying was true.
Maybe it wasn't all picture-perfect, but it was her. It was me. It was us. I didn't give a damn about being perfect.
"You're perfect to me," I told her as I pulled her back against my body. "I want more nights of bad movies and scrabble. I want quiet evenings and nights at the bar. And I want the craziest, loudest, wildest kids in the whole world. I want them to be barefoot and crazy just like us when we were young. I want them to have a mom and dad who love each other no matter what and I know that's what we have. I love you, Joanne. Okay? Not Kelly. Not anyone else. You okay?"
Joanne's bottom lip trembled.
I was sure she was going to start crying all over again at any minute. I pushed my fingers through her hair and pulled her tightly against me. My lips brushed hers and I kissed her deeply.
She melted against my body. I used that chance to stroke my fingers down her back and over the softness of the back of her neck. Her hands ran down my chest and pushed underneath the jacket that I wore. They scraped against my shirt and I desperately wanted to push her up against the car and take her right then and there. Fuck waiting. I wanted her so badly.
That kiss though? That kiss told me everything that I ever needed to know as her tongue pushed into my mouth. She stroked my tongue and teeth before she sucked my lip between hers. Damn. My knees buckled for real and I had to support myself on her car.