Christa laughed. "On it chief."
We slipped into a cab a few minutes later and warmed up in the heat that blew to the back. My hands and arms thawed and I was grateful we were going to be getting out of the cold soon. Alcohol only made you feel so warm and I knew it wasn't even really making us warm at all.
When we pulled up to her place I stumbled out and shuffled behind her to the front door. Christa stayed in a little apartment in town and I wasn't used to apartments at all. I'd always lived in big, open spaces that needed a lot of love and a lot of work. Apartments just reminded me of depressing little boxes to cram people inside of.
"Here's my key," she announced as she popped her hand out of her purse and unlocked the front door. "Come on in."
I stepped inside and locked the door behind us as she wandered off singing to herself. She pulled off her heels and left them tossed against the wall before she sat on the couch. Christa patted the spot beside her and grinned.
"Come make yourself comfortable."
I nodded and toed off my shoes before I joined her on the couch. As soon as I sat down she reached over and leaned against me. Her hand caressed my cheek and I imagined the warmth of Joanne's hand there instead.
I frowned.
"What's wrong?" Christa asked. "And don't even try to say nothing. You just frowned so hard when I touched you I would think you hate me."
"I don't hate you."
"I know. So, what's going on in that head of yours?"
"I don't know," I said as I rubbed a hand down my face.
I'd thought coming over to Christa’s place would erase Joanne out of my head. I thought if I fell into bed with another woman then I could get on with my life and put her behind me.
I didn't even know if she was still at her mom's house or a few hundred miles away. Why the hell can't I let her go?
"Do you love her?"
"What?" I asked as I was pulled out of my daydream.
"Do you love her? The woman you can't stop thinking about."
"Joanne," I murmured. "Her name's Joanne."
"So?"
"So what?"
"Do you love her dummy?"
I rubbed a hand over the back of my neck. Did I love her? I'd called her selfish and basically told her that I wanted nothing to do with her. Did someone who loved someone else say shit like that? I thought about her eyes, her smile, the warmth of her body and the way she held me tight when we were in bed together.
"I don't know," I whispered.
"You do know. Do you want to fuck me?"
"Not really. No offense or anything."
"That's a good thing! Are you kidding me? Pete, you used to be the biggest horn dog, playboy around town. The fact that you don't want to sleep with me means you're growing the hell up and good for you. Here, why don't you sleep on the couch? I adore you as a friend but if we're not having sex I'm not staying up," she laughed.
"Actually, I think I'm going to head home," I said as I stood up. "It would feel weird sleeping here with my thoughts all fucked up."
She nodded. "Call a cab then. I'll at least wait up long enough for you to get picked up."
I smiled. "Thank you, Christa. You're a good friend."
"Oh, the absolute best darling."