She brought her eyes back to his briefly, before lowering them again. ‘I’ve found it a bit hard to get on top of things lately. Finishing my thesis was hard and I was so ill after I got the flu I stayed in bed for ten days. I think Jamie thought it was depression more than anything.’
‘And was it?’ The tone of his voice had softened slightly.
Keira looked into his coal-black eyes and longed to tell him of how for weeks she had wanted to call him and beg him to take her back. She had even gone as far as dialling his number right up until the very last digit before her courage had failed her.
‘Keira?’ he prompted.
‘A little bit, I guess,’ she confessed, looking away again. ‘A lot, actually…’
He let out a heavy sigh and raked a hand through his hair. ‘I wish I had handled things differently.’
Her eyes flew back to his. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I don’t think I knew you well enough back then,’ he said. ‘I rushed into marriage with you without stopping to think of how things would be for you with me away such a lot. I didn’t realise how insecure it would make you feel. I think, in retrospect, we should have spent more time getting to know one another, like we are doing now.’
‘Now?’ she asked, blinking at him in surprise. ‘You think we’re getting to know each other now, the way things are?’
‘Yes,’ he answered. ‘I have learned a lot about you lately.’
She swallowed again. ‘L-like what?’
He held her gaze for a pulsing moment. ‘You are not as wilful and rebellious as you make out. It is all a front to hide the very vulnerable, frightened person you really are inside. You kick out before someone else gets the chance to hurt you first.’
Keira captured her bottom lip and stayed silent.
‘We have three weeks until the boys’ exams,’ he said. ‘You also have your studies to complete, which I can see now has been rather difficult under the circumstances, so that is why I am proposing that we spend these next three weeks doing what we should have done when we first met. Learning to live together.’
She moistened her mouth with a nervous flicker of her tongue. ‘How do you propose we do that?’ she asked.
‘Come here and I will show you,’ he said, his dark eyes pulling her like a magnet.
Keira stepped towards him, her heart jumping as she felt his arms go around her, pulling her into his hard, solid warmth. She drew in an unsteady breath as his mouth came down on hers, the first touch of his lips sending her into a maelstrom of feeling.
He sought for entry and she gave it, her tongue flicking tentatively against his, heat exploding inside her at that first intimate contact. His hands went from her waist to cup her bottom, holding her tight against him, the hard ridge of his erection reminding her of the passion that still flared so heatedly between them. He no longer loved her but he desired her, which was the only compensation she could claim. It wasn’t enough but it was better than nothing, which up until a few weeks ago was all she’d had. Almost two months of stark loneliness, the long arduous days without any contact with him apart from their lawyers. The long drawn-out divorce proceedings had been an attempt on her part to prolong the inevitable. She had wanted him to come storming round to confront her about her outrageous demands. She had longed to see him face to face, to tell him how sorry she was for what had happened, but he had never given her an opportunity.
Until now…
Patrizio lifted his mouth from hers. ‘I think we should finish this in bed,’ he said. ‘Or do you have another preference?’
I would prefer it if you would love me, Keira thought as she shook her head. ‘No, just being with you anywhere is enough.’
He looked down at her for endless moments, his dark eyes probing hers. ‘You really do still love me, cara?’
She gave him a smile touched with sadness. ‘Yes, I really do.’
‘Then you will cancel your appointment with Merrick,’ he said and, reaching for her purse, handed her the mobile phone. ‘Text him now. Tell him you are not going to see him. Ever.’
Keira hesitated.
‘Do it, Keira,’ he commanded. ‘If the press hears of you seeing your lover again it will blow our charade out of the water. Do it.’
She typed in the message and sent it, her expression still mutinous. ‘Satisfied now?’ she asked.
‘Not completely,’ he said as he scooped her up in his arms. ‘But then the night is still young.’
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
PATRIZIO looked up from the morning paper when Keira came into the kitchen three weeks later. ‘Are you not feeling well, cara?’ he asked. ‘You look pale and washed out.’