His head drops, and he starts sobbing in earnest. Sighing heavily, I realize he’s a lost cause. He’s not going to be of any real help in piecing this together, and I never know if he’s even telling me the truth or not.
Or maybe he’s just telling me scattered fragments of what he thinks is the truth. Most madmen never realize they’re insane.
I dematerialize us, leaving him in his cave. He curls into the fetal position as he sobs and hugs a sketch of his mate to his chest.
Just as I start to turn, he brokenly whispers, “Let him do whatever he’s planning to do. Whatever it is, it’s all for you.” The words are so ragged that I barely understand them. “It’s all for you,” he says again, letting his eyes close. “You should hate me as he does, because you have no idea how much you would have hated me if they’d succeeded and gotten you. If they hadn’t killed your line to stop you from being born, as I’m sure they would have, then an even worse fate would have found you.”
“But it didn’t happen,” I remind him, even as his back stays turned to me and he remains curled on the ground.
“Only because he was stronger,” he whispers, rocking with the picture still cradled to his chest. “Only because he was stronger,” he says again.
Then he starts rocking harder, and his sobs increase as he whispers sorry over and over again, though I don’t think he’s talking to me anymore.
My eyes water for the brief second I allow myself to pity him.
“He said he’d let you die. The bond’s been broken now that he’s claimed me, and I’m going to make sure he holds true to his word.” I hope I’m not making a stupid mistake by telling him this.
He looks over at me, eyes watery. “The bond is still there, Ella. I can feel it. Just a shard is all that’s left, so I can’t die until it’s gone, or I’ll take him with me,” he says hoarsely, then turns over to start rocking again.
The blood in my veins turns cold, and my vision almost dims even without me trying to use magic. I have to physically work to tether the darkness and push it back. My hands are shaking with the effort.
“What?” I ask on a ghost of a whisper.
“I’d know it if it was broken,” he goes on quietly.
I leave, because my beasts are still pacing, only now they’re pacing twice as hard. Because Slade has been lying to me all along.
I just don’t know why.
Chapter 29
ELLA
Slade is on the training grounds, bloody and angry when I appear, but his eyes soften when he sees me. “I left you to work in the woods without me, and you went to see Karma instead,” he says like he’s chastising me.
“You didn’t actually leave me with instructions. What happened?” I ask, gesturing to his bloody clothes.
“Just a little scrape with some old friends. I have things to—”
“We’re not supposed to meet until tonight. I know. I just came to find Kya,” I state, trying not to let him sense anything.
But he cocks his head. “She’s not here. I can feel your beasts pacing. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I lie, shrugging a shoulder. “Guess I’m just getting antsy. Red moon is tonight, and you know what that means. I’ll need to be locked up. Speaking of which, what do you do on red moons?”
I know damn well he wouldn’t let himself be caged for any reason, so I doubt he’s locking himself up tonight like the rest of the shifters.
“You won’t need to be locked up. I’ll keep you with me,” he states like it’s an order. “I’ll be back before nightfall,” he adds before brushing his lips over mine, not touching me in any other way, as though he’s worried he’ll be tempted to do more.
Then he vanishes, taking his touch with him as I lean into vacant air, not giving me time to argue that I need to be locked up.
I’m slow to open my eyes, but my gaze lands on the door of his cabin.
Without hesitation, I dematerialize to be inside, seeing all the ledgers still everywhere, but my eyes land on the bed where the journal is.
With shaky hands, I lift the journal and open it, but it’s in yet another language. I close it and open it again, watching the language shift. Then do it again. And again. And again.
It takes a while, but it finally stops on English, and a pang of dread hits me when I start reading the first few words. The gold words seem to pop, and certain ones seem darker than the others, almost as though they were more important to him and he made sure they stayed the boldest.