Shit. I’m doing it again. The not arguing thing.
“You’re going to have so many thoughts that contradict each other,” Ruby proceeds to tell me. “One second you’ll want to scream. The next, you’ll want to do a happy dance. One second you’ll think you’re done, and the next you’ll never want to let him go. That’s love, Bo. It’s a fucking merry-go-round that leaves you dizzy and disoriented. You’re going to want to scream and get pissed, because it’s worth it in the end. You’ll want to forget you’re even pissed when he does something stupid that makes you smile. And you’ll want to pull your hair out during all the times in between. It’ll rock your world and leave you questioning your sanity. But it’s the best feeling ever when you embrace the crazy.”
She just explained so much of what I’ve been feeling, but Ruby is a different person than me altogether. I’m not used to yelling, or screaming, or feeling like I can’t walk a straight line on command.
“Take control of your life, Bo. Don’t just keep letting life control you.”
Silence draws out between us when I have nothing to say. I don’t want to argue, because I know she’s right. I just don’t know how to take control.
“Aha! Found the perfect shirt,” Bella says, and Ruby whistles appreciatively as our conversation continues to play over in my mind.
“For the record,” Bella goes on, walking toward me with a hot pink shirt I forgot I had, “I really envy your fucking closet.”
“She’s a designer. She has all the best things,” Ruby tells her.
Which reminds me…
I reach over and pull open my nightstand drawer, before pulling out my sketch pad and handing it to Ruby.
“What’s this?” she asks, then her breath catches as I stand up and start stripping so I can change.
Bella is busy looking at the sketch with Ruby as tears fill up in my best friend’s eyes.
“It’s your wedding present,” I tell her, tugging on my leather leggings that are actually more like skin-tight pants than leggings. “I can tweak it if you need me to, but it’s obviously a one-of-a-kind. Like you.”
She looks up at me, and then she curses when she has to wipe a tear away.
“You designed me a wedding dress?”
“Yeah. It’s not my area of expertise, so let me know if you don’t like it. I can make some more drafts and give you different options—”
“It’s perfect,” both girls say in unison.
Bella looks on in awe, as Ruby clears her throat and wipes away another tear. The dress isn’t your typical wedding dress, but Ruby isn’t typical. She always wears a splash of red with everything. Just like tonight. Her high heels are red, and so is her choker, even though her outfit is solid black.
Ruby has red roses tattooed down one arm to represent the happiest moments in her life. Her other arm has blue flowers tattooed down it to represent the most painful moments in her life.
The dress only has one sleeve, and it’s to cover up the sad arm. “No sad memories on your wedding day,” I explain, motioning to the sleeve of the dress that is designed to have red roses sewn on in a way that is elegant instead of tacky. The pearl color and red work together, showcasing my best friend in her best light.
“I can’t believe you made this for me,” she whispers in awe.
As soon as I finish dressing, I move to start putting on my makeup before she makes me cry too. I’ve cried enough.
My phone has buzzed more, so I finally read what Bora has said.
BORA: I went to dad’s room… And I ALMOST saw him and mom together. They’re back together and sneaking around. How gross is that?!
BORA: DID YOU HEAR ME??Shouty caps aren’t meant to be yelled. Just me being freaked.
BORA: They’re kissing in front of me right now. I’m in hell.
I can’t even… I don’t even know how to respond to that. Mom and Dad are back together? For years, my dad has never gotten serious with anyone. Not since Mom. And Mom swore off men altogether because losing Dad was just too hard.
Now she’s at a concert? They’re together?
ME: Together together or just together?
BORA: That makes no s