Obviously I argue anyway.
“I love her.” It’s all I can say right now, because there’s not a good defense for the way I’ve been.
His shoulders ease down some, and some of the hardness in his stare lessens.
“Of course you do,” he gruffly mumbles. “But you suck at loving my little girl. You have no idea how much I want to rip out your spinal cord every time you two decide to try this again. But she’s finally done, boy. Whatever you did this time was enough to break her. Now let her cut you out like cancer before you kill what’s left of her.”
Yeah, I wish he had started beating the hell out of me. Picturing Ruby falling apart because of me… I can’t do that right now, or I’ll end up crying in front of Jim.
He’ll kick my ass just for that.
“Where is she?”
He groans while running a hand over his bald, tattooed head.
“You aren’t listening. Leave her alone.”
“Can’t.”
He glares at me, but I don’t budge.
“You don’t seem to understand. Ruby is a miracle. She should have died at least five times already, but she fought to live. She should be a broken shell of a girl after what that bitch momma put her through. Every single day that woman made her feel as though she wasn’t good enough to breathe the same air as other people. She should be as damaged as Krysta. But she’s not. She never has been. It’s not like I’m a big help. I moved her all over the country, never gave her a permanent place to call home. Yet she’s still a strong, happy person. Now she’s curled up in a ball and crying because of you and whatever you’ve done. My little girl doesn’t cry.”
His eyes narrow on me, and I take a shaky breath.
“Well, she doesn’t cry unless you’re involved. The second you’re around, she’s a different person. She’s vulnerable, and open, and she loses all those walls around her that not even I can break through. Yet you don’t appreciate it,” he adds with a snarl.
“I do. Like you said, I just suck at loving your little girl.”
“You don’t deserve her,” he goes on.
“I wholeheartedly agree. I still love her, though. And she loves me. If she’ll let me back in, I can swear I’ll never fuck up again. I didn’t… I didn’t fucking realize how she felt… How I was making her feel. I’ve done everything wrong, and she’s drawn the worst possible conclusions.”
He purses his lips as he continues to glare at me, and I pocket my hands, waiting for him to speak again.
“You always tell her you won’t fuck up again, but then you do. Wash, rinse, repeat. You’re on a cycle.”
Fuuuck. I can’t argue with him, because he’s right. And I know I don’t deserve her, but—
“Would anyone else ever be enough?” he asks, and my brow wrinkles.
“What?”
He sighs as his arms uncross, and he puts his hands on his hips.
“Every time I want to kill you for being such a fuckwit, I ask myself if anyone else would ever be enough for her. I know the answer. I just keep hoping for a new one. In the end, you’re the only dumbass she’s ever going to love. It’s the only reason you’re still breathing.”
I swallow hard for numerous reasons.
“She’s with Wanda. She’s taking some time off work. I don’t know when the two of them will be coming back. Wanda wanted to take her and Krysta away from this town. I swear Vegas was less dramatic, and I never thought I’d say that.”
With that, he turns around and leaves me with nothing useful.
I feel heavier when I leave and head home. I barely even notice anything on the way back because it feels like I’m in a daze. Just as I pull into my driveway, Maverick pulls in behind me.
He gets out first, and his lips thin when he sees me. He grabs something from his back seat as I make my way toward him, and he moves back with a large box in his hands.
“What’s that?” I ask, trying to clear my throat.
He frowns, and he motions toward the door. I let him in, holding the door as he brings the box in, and he sighs while putting it down.
“Ruby called me last night. I didn’t know what she wanted, but I went over there this morning.”
My heart sinks. “She called you? Why? I thought she was gone.”
“She’s gone now. Her stepmom picked her and Krysta up while I was there. She… She asked me to bring you these…”
He lets his words trail off, seeming full of regret as he opens the cardboard box and retrieves a wooden box that looks like a shoe box in size. My eyes slowly close, and my fists clench at my sides. I feel like I’m being licked by hell’s flames and getting dunked in the Arctic Ocean at the same time.