I’m fucked up, because I’m the opposite. “Love” is the word that has me cringing. It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth most days.
Corbin doesn’t even notice my flinch or my instantly stilled breath. He doesn’t notice the fact my back is suddenly ramrod straight. Fortunately his pancakes are distracting him.
We tell our family we love them. We tell our friends we love them. Every type of love is risky, and can break someone. Being in love… That’s Pandora’s Box just waiting to be unleashed inside your soul.
Men have gone to war over love. Murders and other violent acts have been committed in the name of love—Hell, I beat a guy with a bat because love my sister, and he hurt her. Legions of armies have sacrificed limb and life, all in the name of love.
Yet we say that word as though it’s of no consequence, and flinch at the other four-letter words. So never mind; I’m not fucked up. I’m the only sane person in the world, because I acknowledge the power it wields and flinch at it instead of something vulgar or crude, unlike most.
I’ve been in love with Corbin for so long that I don’t even know how to not be anymore, and I battle with it daily. I go to war with myself each and every fucking day. The struggle is freaking real.
But knowing it and saying it are two very different things. The heart is so much more vulnerable when you lay those words bare. I used to freely tell him I loved him… at least until I fell in love with him. I haven’t uttered those words since.
“You seem to be in deep thought,” he says as he finishes his food, smiling at me like he always does.
“No,” I lie, shrugging. “Just dreading this shit with your mother.”
“You know I won’t let her say anything.”
I force a smile, because Corbin doesn’t really know how vicious his mother can be, and I’ll never tell him. He loves her, and she loves him. If I’d had that kind of love from my own mother, maybe I’d have been a different person. Someone who wasn’t insecure about a four-letter word.
“I triple dare you to let me stay at home.”
I look at him hopefully as a deep rumble of laughter spills out of him. That sound is so sexy that I feel the tingles from head to toe wash over me.
“That conflicts with my triple dare, so you know you can’t use it.”
He moves over to my side of the booth with a graceful motion, and I sigh as I scoot away from him right as he leans in for a kiss.
“I can’t get a kiss now?” he muses.
“Not after eating those.” I gesture to the pancakes. “I’m sure they weren’t cooked with any ingredient that could have a bad effect on me, but a lot of times places like these don’t wash their pans in scalding temperatures. Or even at all. Sometimes they just wipe them out before cooking in them again. Who knows what was cooked in that pan before your pancakes.”
He chuckles again before handing me one of the menus that is wedged behind the condiment rack in true diner fashion. He points to the top portion, and a small smile tugs at my lips.
Please note: The owner of this establishment has a severe nut allergy. No ingredients will include anything that could aggravate his affliction. Anyone who has a problem with this is welcome to leave. Thank you for understanding.
“You think I’d risk something like that with you around?” he asks, and I turn back to him to grab the back of his neck and pull him down, kissing him for so many reasons.
No one I’ve ever dated has taken such precautions. If they didn’t eat at my house, they didn’t get touched. With Corbin, I should have known I didn’t have to worry. In fact, it never occurred to me to even stop him from kissing me for any of those reasons in the past. Which is very unlike me.
He groans against my mouth as one hand grips tighter at my side, and inspiration strikes.
“Let’s go back to my house,” I whisper against his lips.
I’m so not above using sex to get what I want, and I want to stay far away from his mother.
“We will,” he says, smiling against my lips when a triumphant grin erupts from me. “Right after we go to this ridiculous lunch at my mother’s house.”
Immediately my bubble is popped, and I lean back pouting while he continues to smile. “And I’ll take you on the bed with your legs spread wide under me, because it’s safer than any other fucking option. You should seriously come with a warning label.”
Heat flutters in my chest. He meant that as a joke, but damn that sounds so sexy coming from him.