I hope she doesn’t ask me to explain the logic behind this weird game of ours. We were kids when we started it. It seems that growing older doesn’t mean you grow up.
I get my box covered up, putting my back to Rain as I seal the loose floorboard back over it.
“What happened to you and Corbin when you dated? He refuses to tell anyone.”
I turn to study her, wondering what her reaction would be if I actually told her the truth… If I told her Corbin yanked my heart out, shredded it, and then dared me to get over it. Even though I feel comfortable confiding in her to some degree, I don’t feel comfortable enough to divulge that.
“They’re your boys, Rain,” I remind her. “I’d rather not talk about it, hear you defend Corbin, and then me have to get pissed. Sorry.”
I shrug as though it’s no big deal, and I hear the dainty laughter of the platinum blonde who’s lying on my bed.
“True. They’re my boys. But they’re not just my boys. They’re your boys, too. If Tria would allow it, they’d be her boys as well. And they’ve taken a liking to Wren’s girlfriend’s best friend—Bella. And Britt, of course. Even though she’s not sure what exactly that means. She has no idea that they’re terrorizing her dating life just yet. I promise I won’t be defensive.”
She sounds amused and fond of that last part. Britt? Oh, yeah. Dane’s lost and found sister. I still haven’t met her.
“It’s in the past,” I say dismissively, not ready to hash out all the painful memories aloud. That was a really bad time in my life, and it took a long time to get over it.
I haven’t allowed myself to be that weak since then. I never will again.
The imagery of Corbin fucking some random girl the day after he broke my heart is still seared into my brain. It’s a reminder of the power he wields over me. It’s a reminder of how little I meant to him.
“Fine,” she sighs. “I just hate to see two people wasting time the way Dane and I did. And we sure as hell wasted too much time.”
I start to tell her that I seized every possible moment I had; that I never wasted a second. But I stop short, and just nod instead.
“For the record, I don’t think you and Dane wasted time. Though the reason was juvenile, the timing was right. Sometimes people just aren’t ready to embrace what they’re feeling. Everything happens for a reason, Rain.”
Just like Corbin fucking a girl in front of me. I could have gone to any party. I could have stumbled into any room. Yet fate shoved me into that one and made me end the vicious cycle we were in. It broke me then, but it saved me from a lifetime of repeated mistakes.
She smiles as though she likes that, but then her smile falls.
“You remember how Corbin used to always lash out at the guys when he was embarrassed or pissed? How he’d say something snide or cruel just to take the focus off him?” she asks randomly.
I shrug, sick of talking about my Achilles heel.
“I think it was Sophomore year of college when that stopped. Around the last time you two dated. Ever wonder why he stopped doing that? Now if he’s embarrassed or pissed, he just shifts the subject. It makes me think maybe you had something to do with that.”
I laugh bitterly while shaking my head.
“No, that has to do with his mother, not me. He made her cry one day when he lashed out at her.”
I still remember that conversation. Corbin felt like shit.
“Well, regardless, it’s always made me think maybe he said something to you that he wishes he could take back. I know the feeling. Not long ago, I said something to Kode that still makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about. I was hurting, I was drunk, and I took it all out on him. I said the worst possible thing anyone could ever say.”
I turn to face her before hopping up on my dresser.
“Kode’s a big boy, Rain. I’m sure he understands. Besides, he was just talking about the four of you going out on a double date, so I’m assuming he’s already over it.”
She frowns, staring down at her legs as she absently picks imaginary fuzz off her jeans.
“I still see the hurt in his eyes when he looks at me. It was so wrong, Ruby. It broke something between us.” She sighs as she looks up, and I see the tears wavering on her lids. “The point is, we hurt the ones we love the most, because they’re always there when life tries to crush us. They’re always there for us to lash out at. And we take our pain out on them. Dane has taken a few verbal assaults from me. I’ve taken a few from him. But it’s different between us. It’s like we know the limits, and we immediately stand there for the other one to vent to, even if it hurts to hear.