“What?” I ask innocently, walking straight to my room.
“Don’t you dare get ready without telling me details,” Maggie gushes, running into my room as I grab a few things to change into.
“Details? I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say deadpan, holding back my giddy grin.
“You fucked him! Hell yes! I knew it. So are you two seeing each other again tonight? Did you two talk about why he was being so crazy?”
And these are the questions I wanted to avoid.
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know? Well, did you ask him what all this was about? He seemed genuinely freaked out about losing you when he came over.”
I sigh hard while shrugging off my old shirt and pulling on my fresh one.
“We didn’t talk about any of that, and I’m not going to. It’ll ruin it. It always does with guys like him—not that I have tons of experience.”
Maggie doesn’t have to know that Rye is the third guy I’ve ever slept with.
“So you don’t get any answers to the questions you want to ask because it might freak him out or something? That’s stupid, Brin. That’s not you.”
She glares at me, but I roll my eyes. “It was one night, Maggie.” And one incredible shower this morning. “I’m not going to quiz the guy about what one night means. That’s stupid. If it goes somewhere, great. If not, fine. That’s the joyous world we live in. People date to get to know each other. They don’t figure it all out on the first night.”
She follows me around as I finish getting ready, and Carmen is sipping her coffee on the sofa when we walk out. She does her best not to look at us because this just got awkward—roommate dispute.
“You do, Brin. You never screw someone without knowing there is a potential promise of a relationship. You’ve dated numerous guys for months without giving it up.”
“I haven’t really dated since high school,” I say through laughter. “I’m an adult. And I’m allowed to have some fun. I’m not deluding myself into thinking Rye wants anything more than fun.”
She scowls at me. “You’re more to him than fun. I guarantee you he has feelings for you that go deeper than the surface.”
“Maggie, right now I’m the exotic creature. For once in my life, I’m something refreshing. To him at least. He’s used to gorgeous girls throwing themselves at him, and I’m the ordinary girl who smashed his car instead of dropping my pants. Well, before I dropped my pants.”
I aim for joking, but her ugly scowl promises I’m not getting through to her comical side.
“Maggie, don’t. Don’t force me to analyze this. It’s fun to be different in a good way for a change. Last night, I felt better than I have in so many years. Don’t steal that by forcing me to see it as it is. Not yet. Just let me enjoy it for a little while.”
Her look softens, and she blows out a breath.
“Fine. But if he hurts you, I’m roasting his balls on a campfire.”
He’s going to destroy me.
“I’ll be fine,” I lie.
I can do this. I can have fun, meaningless, casual sex with my beautiful, sweet, incredible, perfect neighbor that I happen to be falling for too much. I was okay with leaving. But then he asked me to stay. I was okay with it being just one night, but then he referenced the future. I was okay with it just being about sex, but then we talked. And for the first time since John left me, I talked about our divorce without getting angry.
I smiled. I frigging smiled because it felt so good not to give a damn anymore.
Now I’m smiling again, and Maggie is frowning.
“You’re already in love with the bastard,” she groans.
“Am not,” I retort quickly, rolling my eyes.
I’m not sure how deep that lie is, but I know it’s not exactly true. I’m pretty sure I’ve been falling in love with him since the day he stole my car to fix it. But he’s not looking for love. And I’m willing to take what I can get, because I settle. I always have. That’s how people find a few moments of stolen happiness from an otherwise cold and disappointing world—they settle.
***