“Looks like you can heat your food up now,” she says while walking off.
It's like the life has suddenly been zapped out of her, but I don't say anything as she crosses the street. Well, until I see her car is still crumpled up. Now I have to speak.
“You need to get your car fixed,” I call out.
That shit is dangerous. No brake lights or taillights are there right now.
“I'm working on it,” she sighs, and then she disappears into her house.
Oh well. So much for eating out. At least now I have plenty of time to plot my next attack.
Chapter 3
RYE
She's going to be so pissed when she finds the little surprise I left for her. My stupid grin only grows. I feel like a kid right now.
I hate early mornings, so it’s rare that I ever go in before ten. But this morning I have too much to do, so I’m heading in at the ungodly hour of six. I'm already running late, but I can't leave until I hear her—
“Shit!” she screams, a loud clattering following her squeals of terror as her feet scurry in panic across the house.
Fuck yeah!
I bought the nastiest looking tarantula I could find at the pet store after I ate my reheated burger, and then I put it in her room while she was sleeping. Maggie is quickly becoming my favorite accomplice. I think she's enjoying watching this little war.
I'm sure as hell enjoying partaking in it.
My laughter comes out in thick spurts as I make my way across her lawn, and her door jerks open as she yells at me. “Bastard! I let you borrow my shower, and this is what you do?”
I just laugh harder as I make it to my car.
“Sorry, tiger. Couldn't resist.”
“Come get it out of my room. It's on my bed!” she yells, standing there with her hair a complete wreck while wearing the most embarrassing pajamas known to man. Are those unicorns on flannel? Oh good grief.
“Not happening,” I chirp while opening the door to my car. “Have fun with your new pet. I named him Killer.”
She runs to grab the garden hose from beside her house, and I crank the Range Rover and toss it in reverse, trying to hurry before she gets me, and laughing my ass off the whole time. When I throw it in drive, I glance in the rearview mirror to see her running with that hose in her hand until it reaches its limit and jerks her backwards.
My laughter only pours out harder, and I finally turn on my air to kill the heat trapped in my car.
“Fuck!” spews out of my mouth as the pink flecks from hell blow out and cover me.
Glitter? Fucking glitter? How did she get glitter into my air vents? My car stays locked!
I can't go back home because that crazy girl will be waiting. She probably prepared for my return. No. I refuse to give her the satisfaction of seeing me wear this... fucking sparkling shit, or shooting me with her damn garden hose.
I curse like a madman as I drive to work, groaning every time more glitter falls from my body. My ride is going to be a bitch to clean up.
I park quickly, hoping no one sees me like this... But my
shitty luck continues.
Tag is here, waiting for me. I forgot I was supposed to take in Ash's car for upgrades today.
The grin that unfolds on his face taunts me before his merciless laughter.
“What happened to you? Just get back from Never Never Land, Tinker Bell?”