“If I want reality, I’ll walk outside and breathe in the toxic air, dammit. I’ll take a look at my own miserable life. If I read or watch a movie, I’d better get a fucking happily-ever-after.”
She frowns as she looks me over. It’s not like I’m disgusting. I had
a shower yesterday. Or was it the day before?
“Tria, I’m worried about you.”
I pick up another bag of chips that I have stashed beside my bed, and I open them while curling up for the next movie on my list. It had so better have a good ending, or I’m buying a plane ticket to Hollywood so I can beat the hell out of someone.
“Why?” I ask casually, even though I’m not stupid enough to not know her reason for concern.
“You haven’t answered your phone all week—”
“I have for business related things,” I interrupt, letting her know I’m not that far gone. Is it so wrong to need some space from everyone and everything that is connected to the man who unintentionally broke my heart?
“Okay… Are you mad at me?”
I wish I could be. It’d make seeing her less painful. “No,” I confess, sighing.
She seems relieved by that, but the worry in her eyes doesn’t lighten. If anything it seems to weigh on her even more.
“Tria, you’re not leaving your house, and now you’re yelling at a movie.”
“The wonderful world we live in has so many delivery services. There’s no reason for me to leave. And yes. I’m pissed that I ordered a romance and got a sick, Shakespearian twist that made it a tragedy.”
The new movie starts playing, promising to be a bit comical. Thank God it isn’t another tear-jerker.
“Tria, it has been a week.”
She underestimates how much I cared about Kode. They all do. I’m sure not even he understands it.
“Rain, if Dane and you split up right now, where would you be?”
Her brow puckers to mimic her frown. “Under the covers,” she groans.
“Well, I’m sitting on top of them, so I’m already doing better than you would be. Cut me some slack. I’m not done wallowing.”
It takes so much effort not to break down and bawl, but I manage to escape the tears. My trashcan is overflowing with tissues. I’m fairly sure my nose will be forever raw. And my poor stomach is hating me for all the junk I’ve crammed into it over the past week.
“Has he tried calling?”
Numerous times. And texting. But that’s not something I want to share. No one has to know he’s still chasing me. It’s better if they don’t, that way no one gets mad when he finally moves on. If they know he kept trying for me, then they’d think he was merely leading me on.
“Have you talked to him? He was your best friend for a lot longer than he was my boyfriend. I know what he did was shitty, but what you said… Rain, that was way too low.”
She looks down, and a tear slips free from her eye. “I know. I felt horrible about it when I woke up the next morning. I was on an emotional high, and I was way too drunk. I had told Dane I didn’t want to get married to a liar like my father, and then I called a cab. Dane was taking a minute to get himself together—probably trying not to lose his temper on me—and I left without saying anything.”
She takes a deep breath before exhaling it loudly. “Fucking Edward. I never should have read that letter. None of this would have happened. Kode had moved forward, Dane and I are together, and you were happy. I fucked it all up by going crazy.”
I pat her leg and offer her the bag of chips. She takes them, and puts the salt-and-vinegar flavored thing in her mouth, cringing when she realizes it wasn’t a plain chip. I’d laugh at her face under normal circumstances.
“I always did have a flair for the dramatic,” she adds, dusting her hands off. “Guess that’s why I started writing.”
“It’s not your fault that this happened, Rain. It’s just one big cluster fuck, and all four of us got weaved into the mess. Shit happens.”
I need her to go so I can cry some more. She’ll stay if I start crying right now.
“Are you going to forgive him?” I ask, hoping she says yes.