Tria moves to sit down on the arm of the chair, now wearing a pair of shorts under my shirt. It’s awkward again. Trying to comfort anyone besides Tria just feels weird.
“Edward wrote me a letter, telling me how he has a lot of regrets in life and all that cheap ass shit. Then he has the balls to say that he wishes he could have been a good man. A man good enough to face me and be there for me during everything I went through. He shouldn’t get to clean his conscience before his grave. It’s wrong. It’s cheap. It’s so fucking cowardly!”
Her voice is loud and distorted from her tears. I’ve never seen her so hysterical before.
“What’s that got to do with your wedding and Dane?”
She hugs me tighter, and I try to think of what to say. Nothing. I really suck at this.
She finally pulls back while wiping her eyes, and she moves to join Tria on the sofa arm. Tria squeezes her hand, trying to comfort her.
“Life is short. You only have a few glimpses of amazing things. Beauty fades. Life moves at a pace that gives you whiplash. I read that letter, and realized that jerk got to answer questions without actually answering them. So, I did something I told myself I’d never do. I wanted answers. I didn’t think it mattered, but it does. I deserve to frigging know.”
She’s like a rabbit on crack when she gets up and starts pacing, and nothing she’s saying is making sense. I’ve seen her drunk many times, but never this emotional and drunk at the same time.
“What does that have to do with Dane and the wedding?” Tria prompts, echoing my question that wasn’t really answered.
“I wanted answers. Like I said, I told myself it didn’t matter. But I had to know. So I finally asked him about that damn letter I wrote him six years ago. I wanted to know why he let me go. I deserve to know!”
My body turns into a block of ice as I go stiff from head to toe. The nightmare is playing out into reality, bleeding into the bubble I have with the girl I love. And it’s all unfolding in a way that will never turn out good. I should have already fucking told Tria the truth.
“What’d he say?” Tria asks, as the words I need to say start choking me.
“He said he was stupid. That’s all he’d say. I told him that was a shitty excuse, and I needed more. He looked so damn torn, Tria. He’s hiding something. I don’t know what happened, and until I do, I can’t marry him. How can I? I refuse to start a marriage with someone who can’t be honest with me no matter how much I fucking love him.”
Bile rises to my throat, and I lean over to grip the back of a chair.
“Dane didn’t do anything wrong, Rain,” I say quietly, just as my door slams.
“Rain! Dammit, don’t just run out on me!” Dane’s booming voice fills the room, and Tria jumps, startled. He must have been close by when I sent that text.
Rain screams at him, cursing him and calling him out as a coward. That’s all I can take.
“It was my fault!” I yell. The entire room falls silent other than the few muttered curses from Dane’s lips.
Rain blinks at me, her tears still falling. Tria stands and moves to the side of the room, watching me with intense but unreadable eyes.
“How the hell was it your fault?” Rain demands.
This is not what I wanted to do. “Because I took the letter and tore it to pieces. Dane didn’t even know it existed until he read your Easton Boys book. I’m sorry, Rain. This is on me. Hate me. Not him.”
She shakes her head, and her finger points at me. “You’re lying. Why would you do that? You’re my best friend. I’m not stupid, Kode. Stop covering for him.”
Tria continues watching, her arms crossed under her breasts, and her eyes solely on me.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
“Rain, it really was me. I went to get my sunglasses out of the car and found the letter. I fucked up. Really, really bad. But it was me. Dane didn’t tell you the truth because he thought you’d forgive him easier than you’d forgive me, and he loves you so much that he didn’t want you to lose your best friend. That’s why Maverick’s the best man instead of me, Rain. You know I’m telling the truth.”
She stares at me, unblinking and silent. Then the rage in her eyes focuses on me, and her fists clench at her sides.
“Why?” she bites out acidly, her tears running harder. “Why the hell would you do that? Did you read it? Do you know what it said?”
My breath hurts. Everything hurts. But I shake my head, revealing more with each passing second.
“I didn’t have to read it. I knew what it would say.”
She chokes back a sob before covering her mouth. “Then why?”