"Tell me I can take you to my bed, and I'll shut up," I say, smiling when she sniffs.
"There's nothing wrong with my bed. I want to sleep in here. We'll talk in the morning. When there's light out."
I don't play fair. She's not getting away from me that easily.
After I climb into her bed, I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her to me, resting the back of her body flush against my front. Then, like the cunning devil I am, I start kissing her neck, using all her weaknesses against her.
"I said I'm sorry," I murmur, nuzzling her affectionately, and then planting another kiss against her neck.
With a harsh exhale, she turns to face me, and with the barely-there glow of the streetlight through her window, I see the hurt in her eyes. I really screwed up.
I brace for the worst, knowing that I deserve it. Her eyes search mine for something. If it's regret, I'm sure she sees mounds of it, because I'd give anything to rewind time right now.
"I didn't ask for the wine. In fact, I damn near begged him to keep it. He was insistent. I don't know why you're pissed at me. I told you to keep the frigging bottle. I don't want it." Her voice is quiet, but I can hear the strain caused by her raw emotions.
I'm a jerk. That's all there is to it.
She turns over, but I pull her back to my body. I even go as far as to wrap my leg around her. It doesn't feel like I can get close enough.
"I know, Raya. That's why I'm apologizing," I murmur, preparing myself to be honest. She deserves honesty. "I was a jerk. It... it just caught me off guard. You should definitely keep it. It's obvious Granddad noticed how special you are, too. He has... cancer, and when he gave that to you, I wasn't mad at you... It just made me realize he knows he doesn't have a lot of time left. It just... it really struck a nerve, because I'm not ready to lose him."
I can't do it. I can't tell her I love her. But I finally realize that I want her to have that stupid bottle of wine, because Granddad was right to see something in her. She's something I can't lose, even if this is all scaring the hell out of me.
I fight back the tears I thought I was finished shedding just as she turns over and wraps her arms around me. It feels so good to have her arms around me, and I hold her closer.
She's consoling me with her touch. After all the shit I said and did, she's trying to console me.
"Come to bed with me. I hate sleepin
g upstairs," I say, giving her another kiss on the cheek.
I can't stand being in this room. This is where all the casual hookups come during my parties. It's tainted, and it's nowhere nearly good enough for her. I shouldn't have ever let her come in here to begin with.
"Okay," she says softly, no hesitance in her tone.
I take her hand after pulling her off the bed, feeling soothed by her simple touch. A slew of contradicting emotions stir within me as we near the bedroom. As soon as she's safely tucked in my room, I pull her in front of me and bring my lips down on hers while backing her up, needing to be as close to her as I can get.
When we reach the bed, I lean in to her until we both drop down to the mattress, making sure to keep my body placed between her legs. I kiss her neck, savoring her taste like it's the cure for me right now.
In my life, I've never thought I needed something. And then I met Raya.
Time doesn't exist right now. There's no rush to undress, and we take our time, devouring each other in places the eye can't see, until we're bare and holding each other. My fingers thread through her silky strands as I try to make her feel what I'm feeling, kissing her deeper than I thought possible. A simple kiss has never meant so much in my life, but it feels as though tomorrow hangs in the balance. I need to hear her say it again.
And she does her best to drive the pain away. Her hands explore my body with a soft, sensual touch meant for men greater than me. She gazes at me with more love than I deserve. And she holds me to her, giving me security I didn't know I needed.
I pull her to be on top of me, letting her straddle me and giving her sole control. Our kiss never breaks, until she sits up. I expect her to reach for the condoms I have in the nightstand, but she doesn't. Instead, she does something I didn't expect.
With a painfully slow motion, she slides down on me, letting me feel her heat without anything separating us. I've never slept with anyone without that extra layer of protection, but I'm pretty sure I'm ruined now.
Everything is different, better—almost too good. Tightly sheathed inside her, I moan, feeling it turn into a near growl as she starts rocking, owning me right now. Needing to pull her even closer, I grab her hips and start sliding her against me each time she comes down.
But I need her lips, so I sit up, putting us face to face as she continues to control the rhythm. When her lips brush mine, they're softer, swollen, and perfect. Her movements aren't hurried or frantic, but this is more passionate than anything I've ever felt before.
"I love you," she whispers against my lips.
The power she has over me can scare me some other time. Right now, I'm lost in the peace those words bring me. I pull her closer, slipping my tongue into her mouth, as sweat begins to gather on both of us.
When her nails dig into my shoulders, I start worrying I'm not going to last long enough for her to come. Her hips come down harder with every fall, making my balls tighten in anticipation.