"Not tonight," he said through strain.
What? Why? What the hell was wrong this time?
I rattled my brain for anything I might have done wrong, but I was drawing a blank.
"Did I do something wrong? Do you not want me that way?"
He smiled as he touched my cheek. "Oh, that's definitely not what's going on right now. I'm physically hurting to be with you. I just want it to be perfect. This isn't perfect."
I didn't know what he meant exactly. My self-conscious insecurities cloaked me as I mulled over his words. Not perfect.
Considering this was the first time I'd ever been in this situation to this extent, I was sure I seemed inexperienced. That sucked.
"I'll get better. I have just never kissed anyone before you. Just tell me what to do differently. Tonight is the first real kiss I've had with you—if you don't count the first kiss that ended suddenly when I started feeling like I was stuck in a furnace."
He flinched as he thought back to that night, but I stared expectantly, not willing to accept a no.
"That's not what I meant. Baby, you're perfect in every way. I love that I'm the first guy you kissed. I'm talking about the setting and the atmosphere."
I arched my eyebrow skeptically. "You don't like my house?"
He laughed—a sound that usually made me smile under other circumstances. "No, I like it here. I meant that I don't want to be in your room at your grandma's house, while the rest of your family sits downstairs with their super-hearing. It would be disrespectful for one, and it would be a wasted opportunity to make this special. I think we should wait until the time is right, and everything is perfect. I want the epic moment for us. We deserve it. I really think we would regret it if we rushed it."
I never knew patience could be such a terrible quality in a person.
"Okay," I grumbled, annoyed and irritated. "I'll do my best."
His grin was adorable, even if it was mocking me, but I refused to let it infect me. "You're cute when you're frustrated." He kissed me softly, smiling against my lips.
I rolled my eyes as I pulled back. "You wouldn't think I was so cute if I wasn't sitting on my hands right now. I would've probably already turned the room into ash, or blown out the whole third floor, or something else really bad by now."
He laughed harder as he lay back on the bed, motioning for me to join him. He spoke playfully. "It's a good thing that I'm an eternal. Your body is on fire. I'm glad I can't be hurt from the heat you're putting off right now."
I felt the blush creeping across my cheeks. It took me back to the night that Jared and I had gotten a little too close.
"Yeah, that's the blazer in me," I muttered dryly.
He laughed again. "It certainly is." Then he kissed me and tugged me closer as he softly rested his head on top of mine.
To distract myself from the... issues at hand, I asked him something that had been bugging me for a really long time. "So you and Elaina?"
He rolled his eyes. "Don't be ridiculous."
He laughed at my question as he stood up to grab the water he had carried up, giving me the chance to appreciate his perfectly toned body. I scowled at his back when I felt taunted. Look but don't touch, Aria, I thought. I huffed again.
He was smiling when he caught my gaze. I decided not to boost his ego even more, so I didn't acknowledge the fact I had just been busted.
"Oh yeah, you don't date in high school," I said, giving him my best sarcastic tone.
He tried unsuccessfully to stifle his new grin. "That's my old rule. I made an exception for you."
He leaned over and kissed me, then he grabbed some shorts and walked to the bathroom to change out of his jeans. The devil in me started to go push through the door and catch him off guard. But I didn't let the devil win.
"So, are links the reason you didn't date or were you just too cool for school?" I asked, again needing a distraction.
He tossed his jeans to the small desk in my room when he walked back in, and I shamelessly ran my eyes over his body as he made his way back toward me. He pretended not to notice, even though I saw his smirk.
"Yes and no. I just wasn't ever interested in anyone enough, before you obviously. Another thing that I didn't want to deal with was the emotional link. Desmond was always good about getting out before the link took effect, but I didn't want to chance getting sucked in.