He stood up and wrapped an arm around me. We went upstairs, away from the multitudes of people.
When we got to my room, I put on some new clothes. He had his back turned to me, staring out the window. I threw on a pair of yoga style pants and a tank top. I walked over to where he was standing and wrapped my arms around him.
"You like that window, don't you?"
"I just like making sure you're safe, even though I didn't do so good tonight."
"Don't start that again." I paused for a minute. "Anesta seems to be coming around. That's good."
"She's not so bad. She's just in pain." His eyes started looking down toward the floor as he talked to me.
"Why is she in pain?" I was puzzled by his statement.
"Anesta has been looking for centuries for her soul mate. She's been waiting and longing for her other half. She's never looked outside the realm of witches. Then she learns that bodyguards and witches can also be mates. So she expands her search into the guards as well. Then she finds out about Allaysia and Edmond, and realizes that she's been so closed-minded for centuries. She's been looking for a witch instead of looking for magic. It's disheartening because now she worries that she has already missed her chance. There's so many more places to look as well."
"Oh. I hadn't thought about that." It would be lonely to be alone for centuries. I thought for a moment. "I think you… I think we're soul mates."
I didn't intend to blurt it out so boldly, or awkwardly. I was becoming increasingly horrible with timing and words.
/> He hugged me. He didn't seem surprised by my statement. I started pulling his face down toward mine, but he caught my arms and stopped me. I was a little hurt, but mostly confused.
"I'm sorry. I guess I thought you felt the same way." I felt my voice cracking and heard its uneven tones.
He grimaced slightly. "I care for you, but this is dangerous."
I tilted my head. "Why is this dangerous?"
He sighed loudly and walked away from me. "Everyone thinks that Dramus was this crazy lunatic that sat in a dungeon and looked for a way to drain an essence. That's not how it happened though. He was just trying to kiss a witch and found himself inhaling her. That sort of thing doesn't happen like that for the other dark ones. They have to try to inhale. That could very possibly happen to me, considering I share his blood."
I shook my head. "That's crazy. You're nothing like him. You're pure and light. I can't see it, but I can feel it."
He looked away with shame and guilt in his eyes. "That's not a chance I'm willing to take with your life."
I put myself in front of him and forced him to look at me. "It's a chance I'll take all day."
He put his hands on my shoulders and sighed again. "I wouldn't let you take such a chance. I won't do anything that jeopardizes your safety ever again."
I rolled my eyes. "You haven't ever jeopardized my safety. I'm a big girl, and I can make my own decisions."
He was avoiding eye contact with me. "Not about this. I can't let you risk your life just to be with me. It's not fair and it's not practical. It's just your emotions running away with you, and for some foolish reason, I've allowed myself to get wrapped up. I'm only endangering you by getting so close."
"Don't. Don't do this. We've been stuck in limbo for so long - together but not together. Don't do this."
He groaned, letting his hand roughly slide through his hair. "Aria, you don't know what you're saying."
I could feel tears forming in my eyes. "I know we're soul mates. I can feel it. Every time we touch, every time you look at me, every time I even get close to you, I can feel it. I can feel the pounding in my heart getting heavier anytime you're gone for too long. I know I'm right about this. Don't say that it's just my foolish emotions, because I know it's so much more."
"I don't think you understand. Soul mates are hard for immortals to understand, let alone mortals. I know that you feel for me, but it's the attraction to my immortality. It's a normal feeling. Mortals have always been drawn to immortality. A link. It's not me. Magic is completely intoxicating. It draws you in without you even realizing it. Your magic isn't here yet, but I can still feel it pulling me in. It's strong and almost irresistible. But that doesn't make us soul mates."
I was dumbfounded. I'd been certain that he knew it was as real as I did. I couldn't believe he didn't feel the same way. But I was mostly crushed by the fact that he viewed me as he did any other mortal.
The dams broke and tears began pouring out. "I thought… I was sure that… I know I feel something between us. I know it's more than an attraction to immortality. I'm not attracted to anyone but you. All I can think about is you." I watched as he winced lightly, and I sloppily wiped my tears away.
He spoke even quieter. "You and I have a strong bond, because of how much time we've spent together. The magic in your veins is stirring from being in such close contact with mine. When you're immortal, all of those feelings are amplified to a degree you can't even comprehend yet. Once you transform, you will see all of that with such better clarity. You will also understand the emotional linkage as well. When you transform, the strength of that link will be gone. The connection that draws you to me will be gone."
His eyes twitched with pain, and he took a steadying breath.
"You don't want to kiss me. Not like this. I've fought so incredibly hard to resist such temptation. Everyday I fight the urge and try not to let myself want you."