Maybe it’s my own inexperience that keeps me from being able to look at her and only see someone I want to have sex with. Maybe I’m not built for those types of relationships, and so long as that’s all she’s interested in, I know I have to keep my distance. I’m no stronger at being able to turn her down if she asked now after weeks of not seeing her than I was that last day in my condo.
How I managed not to run after her when she left is beyond me.
I don’t know how I’ve resisted showing up at her apartment and agreeing to being her toy when all I can think about is pressing my mouth to hers.
It wouldn’t just be that for me. If I touched her, I’d end up begging, insisting that she hear me out. I know we could be great together. I know I can be the man she deserves.
But those fantasies will never come to pass.
We’re too different. Our expectations don’t line up in any other place than the bedroom.
The crowd mingles as the hotel staff prepares the room for the reception, and I realize very quickly that I need a moment to myself—just a few minutes to get my bearings so I can face an evening of seeing the woman I want but can’t have.
After hitting the bathroom, I’m casually making my way back to the ballroom when I spot Parker walking toward me. There’s determination on her face and in the way her feet don’t even stutter as she approaches me.
I make a plan to walk right past her. We really have nothing to say even though there are a million things bouncing around in my head. But Parker doesn’t let me walk right past. She grabs the lapel of my tux and pushes me through a door. The room we enter is dark, the only light coming from the red EXIT sign above our heads, but it’s enough to light her pretty face up, making me remember just how beautiful she looked in my bed with the first rays of sunlight filtering in through the window. My heart clenches.
“This has to stop,” she hisses, and I nearly have to take a step back at the anger in her voice.
Is she joking? I haven’t done a damn thing, not today or the days leading up to now.
“I have to stop?” I snap. “I’m not the one seeking you out, Parker.”
She’s the one who dragged me in here. She’s the one sending ridiculous texts and showing up at my place.
I know she has other options. I saw the proof of that when I made the mistake of showing up at her job. She’s only coming to me because she’s evil, because she knows I’m struggling to resist her.
“Nothing to say?” I taunt when she just blinks up at me, throat working on a swallow as if she wants to say something but she just can’t bring herself to let the words fly. “If you don’t want to keep this up, then stop showing up at my condo in the middle of the night. I’m not the one pursuing you. It’s the other way around.”
“Like I’d ever—”
I do exactly what my heart is telling me is the worst possible thing. I pull her against me and press my mouth to hers. She gives in, momentarily groaning when I lick into her mouth. God, it feels like coming home after years of being forced to stay away.
Her body freezes, her head jerking back as if she’s just now realizing what she’s doing. The slap to my face echoes around the room, the pain in my chest greater than the burn on my skin as she darts out of the room. I caress the spot on my cheek, the heat from her hand disappearing long before I want it to. I need it there, a burning reminder that what we shared was merely physical, something I need to move past.
When I leave the room, I walk back into the ballroom to smiling faces and people excited to share in the joy of a couple in love. I don’t see Parker anywhere, and honestly, I don’t know what I’d do if I did. I know that kiss wasn’t enough. I know my body thrums for hers. I know I’m going to fully lose my mind before ever getting over her. I know that makes me even crazier because despite the texts and the showing up at my condo, she’s never once led me on, never once told me things that would make me think we had a future together.
Fuck, I’m just too stuck in my head.
I’m a horrible person for being relieved when Anna’s water breaks in the middle of dancing with Deacon. After getting them to their car and sending them to the hospital with well wishes and excited congratulations, I head for my truck.