Canaan clung to him, kissing him back with a desperation Renzo hadn’t known he possessed.
“Need you,” Canaan murmured which was usually Renzo’s line and cut him to the quick, knowing Canaan was right and knowing there was only so much he could give.
“Need you too.” Renzo buried his face in Canaan’s neck. “But we shouldn’t...sex isn’t going to fix this.”
“Still want it. Need it. Everything else can wait.”
“Fuck.” Renzo wanted to believe him in the worst way. Wanted this. Wanted to lose himself in Canaan’s body, wanted to memorize this time when it was good and pure and everything he wanted and needed. He hadn’t been lying. This, this right here was the best time of his life.
And so when Canaan moved to kiss him again, he let him, let himself take a little more, give a little move. They kissed like they were back on that ledge, like they were all each other had. And maybe they were.
“Bed?” he asked long minutes later. If they were going to do this, then he wanted to do it right.
“Yeah.” Canaan started to swing off Renzo’s lap, but Renzo scooped him up instead, striding the short distance to Canaan’s bedroom. It was dominated by the queen bed, covered with a fluffy blue comforter plus a blanket that had appeared sometime in the last few weeks because apparently Renzo was a cover thief. One handed, Renzo pushed both to the foot of the bed before setting Canaan down.
He stripped fast, needing skin in the worst way. Canaan too seemed to be on that page, pulling off his clothes and scrambling onto the bed.
“Come here,” Canaan demanded.
“Yeah.” Renzo pushed him back, covering him with his body and his mouth, more long kisses, more losing himself in Canaan’s mouth. But it wasn’t just his kisses that Renzo wanted. He wanted to memorize every little thing about Canaan. To that end, he kissed his stubbly jaw, his ear, the tender spot behind his earlobe, the corded muscles of his neck, his Adam’s apple. Every bit of skin there for him to love.
Collarbones. Shoulders. Lean, ropey arms. Strong hands. Everything was worthy of his kiss and his touch. He went slow, needing to savor this, take it all in. Knowing how much Canaan loved it, he spent a long time with his nipples. But instead of moaning like usual, Canaan just breathed hard, almost shaking with tension. Driven by a need to make him come apart, Renzo slid down the bed, licking his stomach, his hipbones. Pushing Canaan’s legs open and back, he stroked them, reveling in the crisp hair under his palms, the strength in his calves and feet.
Canaan’s fingers dug into his shoulders, but he still didn’t moan or beg. When Renzo licked his balls, however, he hissed in a breath. Good. He was on the right track. And he knew exactly what would make Canaan lose it, give himself up to Renzo and this. Spreading his legs further and tilting his ass with his hands, Renzo didn’t hold back, attacking Canaan’s rim with licks and flicks, knowing by now exactly what Canaan loved.
“Fuck.” Canaan drew out the word.
“Yeah, that’s it. Gimme.” Renzo resumed his work until finally, finally a moan escaped Canaan’s throat, then another one.
“Fuck me. Fuck me.” Canaan chanted, body writhing on the sheets.
“Got the magic lube?” Renzo’s fingers curled, ready to make Canaan come undone.
“Here.” Canaan tossed the lube and one of the condom brands Renzo had liked at his head, but Renzo ignored the condom, instead slicking up his fingers.
“Two,” Canaan commanded when Renzo started drawing slippery circles around his rim. Finding that his teasing mood was receding, replaced by something darker, needier, he worked him open with two fingers. Slow but steady pressure until Canaan’s ring of muscle softened, let him go deeper, smoother. He found a rhythm with firm touches against Canaan’s gland and a scissoring motion on the upstroke that had Canaan giving up more of the moans Renzo craved.
“Touch yourself,” he urged. “Come on my hand.”
“Nuh-uh. Fuck me.”
“Don’t wanna hurt you. Need you too much.” Even as he protested, his hand had its own ideas, a third finger joining the first two, earning a low, lusty moan from Canaan.
“That’s it. Come on.” Canaan thrust the condom at him again.
Renzo withdrew his fingers but still hesitated, not sure whether fucking with this much emotion was advisable. However, Canaan seemed to have no such reservations, reversing their positions in a smooth move that Renzo hadn’t been aware he was capable of. Ripping open the condom packet with his teeth, Canaan stared him down, dared him to object.
Like Renzo was capable of that. He nodded, and Canaan rolled the condom on him, touch so damn good that it was Renzo’s turn to moan, especially when Canaan added the lube. Canaan moved to face away, bracing himself on Renzo’s knees.