“You make it sound so lame.”
“It’s not.” Canaan was fast to reassure him. “You have real concerns, and I’m not trying to invalidate that at all. But I also think that sex comes down to the people involved. So some of sex not being the greatest for you is on the other people. Because at the risk of sounding flip, there are plenty of people out there for whom a giant cock is not something to complain about. At all. And other people who absolutely love non-penetration fun. And maybe you just haven’t met the right person yet.”
“Maybe.” Renzo wasn’t ruling it out but a fair bit of looking hadn’t given him particular cause for hopefulness.
“Is sex better when you bottom or is that a no-go for you too?”
Renzo groaned. He really, really tried to avoid thinking about that particular memory. “The one and only time I offered, the guy said that he was too intimidated to try it with me.”
“Well luckily, he’s not the only dude in the world. Plenty of mountain climbers out there who enjoy topping a bigger guy. And plenty of size queens too who would find you and your monster equipment a crown jewel. And notice that I’m trying hard not to volunteer my services here for either, because I don’t want to pressure you and maybe you’re not into me like that—”
“When you’re not dissecting my sex life, you’re all right.”
“Well, thanks. I guess I’ll settle for being ard.” Canaan tried and failed to imitate Renzo’s Philly accent, making it rhyme with hard not might like Renzo did. “And I’m just saying a lot of truly amazing sex is knowing what your favorite things are and then finding people with those same favorite things. Or finding new favorite things together. And it sounds like that hasn’t happened much for you.”
“Yeah. Maybe.” Renzo really didn’t like how pathetic Canaan made him sound. “Can we discuss something else now? Maybe you have some bizarre, embarrassing problem I can analyze for you?”
“Hmm.” Canaan didn’t sound put off by this request at all. “I can’t do multiple pull-ups to save my life?”
“That I can fix. You just need more core strength. I’ll demo for you sometime.”
“Awesome.”
“But that’s hardly on the same planet as my...thing.”
“Okay. Okay. Embarrassing facts... I have a really nervous stomach. Like not an eating disorder, but I’ve been known to puke when stressed. First day of school. First big band performance. That sort of thing. First time I was going to have sex, I puked and alcohol was most definitely not involved. Took me a few months to get the courage to try again.”
“So like...if we did hook up, you might hurl?” Renzo tried to consider whether this made him feel better or worse.
Canaan grinned at him. “Only if you made me nervous. Which you don’t. No matter what you’re packing, I’m not worried. Like I said, it’s more a matter of finding which of our favorite things align.”
Thinking about hooking up had Renzo shifting in the seat. And far more curious than he had any right to be. “Okay, so we talked about my bad sex, so you owe me. What are these favorite things? Like kinks? ’Cause I’m not kinky. I’ve taken requests before and I kinda fail at acting,” he admitted.
“No one’s asking you to cosplay with me.” Canaan laughed. “And I can get kinky, like I don’t mind a little pain play or some rope, but mostly I find regular sex stuff plenty good.”
“Like?”
“So like, my all-time favorite thing to do to someone else is oral. My favorite thing to have done to me is probably getting fingered. Does fisting count as kinky?”
The sound that came out of Renzo’s mouth wasn’t quite human. And he couldn’t help it, he took a quick glance down at his hand. Which wasn’t tiny.
“Yeah, yeah, I see you over there with those baseball mitts. Not saying I could take you, but hell, it sure would be fun trying.” Canaan made trying sound like the sexiest word in the English language. Renzo had to admit, it would be...interesting, being with someone like Canaan who made it sound like even things that didn’t work would fun and sexy.
“I like kissing,” Renzo said, mainly because he felt like he needed to contribute something to this conversation that was positive and he wasn’t quite ready to admit how turned on both of Canaan’s favorite things made him. “Everything that comes after kissing is where it gets iffy, but I’ve always liked kissing a lot.”
“Excellent. Me too. And for what it’s worth, I’m not some kind of sex maniac—”
“You kind of are,” Renzo couldn’t resist teasing. “Or maybe it’s more you like talking about it more than most people. Perhaps you should switch to sex therapy as your specialty.”
“Ha. Talking is fun. I think you should talk more. It helps. And all I’m saying is that we can kiss and not get off. Or kiss and go super slow. There’re options.”