“And it’s hard explaining that to civilians.” Some of the tension finally seemed to leave Wes’s strained face. “Like my mom. She said she understands. But I should be there, should be able to help her and my dad through this.”
“Is it your sister again?” Dustin asked, trying to keep his voice neutral, hoping the news wasn’t too dire.
“She’s scheduled for a surgery in two days. I’m not sure I fully understand what they’re doing, but it’s a new kind of pacemaker, one that should buy her time, but...” Wes trailed off, eyes glassy.
“But?” Dustin’s chest contracted around that heaviness pushing down on him. Fuck, but he wanted to be able to hold Wes, tell him it would be okay.
“She still might end up on the heart transplant list. And no surgery is without risks. I’m scared something will happen to her and I won’t be there.”
“You being there wouldn’t keep her safe,” Dustin said gently. “Much as we might like to be, we’re not superheroes. You’d be a comfort to your folks though, and I know it fucking sucks that you can’t be there.”
“I just wish there was something I could do.” Wes thumped his head backward against the pillows.
Dustin thought for a few moments, trying to come up with something other than platitudes. “You video chat them at all?”
“Earlier, yeah. Sam was in great spirits, which was nice.” Wes smiled fondly whenever he talked about his sister. Dustin couldn’t imagine anything happening to his brother, couldn’t imagine all Wes’s mixed-up emotions.
“What if you sent something to your folks and her? I mean, it’s not the same as being there, I get it. But you could send a surprise, and maybe feel like you reached out.” No order of flowers or whatever was going to make Wes feel better, but Dustin felt so freaking powerless to help that he had to suggest something.
“That’s not a bad idea.” Wes surprised him by brightening. “There’s this bakery the three of them love. I’ll see if I can get cookies sent as a surprise. Still wish I could be there.”
“I know.” God, Dustin would give a lot to be able to hold Wes close, breathe in his scent, tell him that he wasn’t alone in this.
“This is helping,” Wes said softly. “Talking like this. Thank you.”
Anytime, Dustin almost said, but stopped himself. There couldn’t be a next time, let alone an anytime. Instead, he asked, “What else would help? Think you could watch a movie, get your mind off things enough to sleep?”
“That your way of telling me to sleep now while I can?”
“Yeah. Don’t tell the others though—you know how the LT likes to keep these things close to his chest. But I wouldn’t be surprised by a call tomorrow morning or so.” Dustin shouldn’t be telling him that much, but he couldn’t seem to stop the words from tumbling out.
“I’ll be ready.” Wes nodded firmly. “And I take it my favorite form of sleep-aid is off the table?”
Oh fuck, Dustin wanted that too. Wanted to really take Wes out of his head. Hell, he wanted out of his own head in the worst way. Wanted Wes’s dirty commands. Wanted to give him that control. Wanted to take the phone into the bedroom, drift off after an epic orgasm. But he couldn’t. He had to keep some lines. If there was going to be any jerking off, it was going to be him in a quiet room later, and he was going to fight like hell to not think about Wes while doing it either. Which was an impossibility—Wes starred in every fantasy of his, had for months now. But he could try.
“We can’t do that,” he forced himself to say at last. “But I could watch the same show as you for a while, talk more if that helps.” That alone he shouldn’t be doing, but as long as his pants stayed on he could tell himself he was at least exerting some minimal discipline.
Wes took his sweet time answering. “Okay. You know it’s pretty darn tempting to try to seduce you. Tell you about what I thought about the other night... But I’ll be good.”
“Please.” Dustin’s voice was hoarse, and he honestly wasn’t sure whether he was pleading for Wes to reveal the fantasy or to not go there.
“No,” Wes sounded more resigned now, less teasing. “I’ll respect your limits. I...appreciate you hanging out with me tonight. Don’t want you guilt-ridden later.”
“I won’t be.” Dustin wasn’t sure whether he was lying or not. “And I’m not telling on my fantasies either,” he added to keep things light. Just one last, little flirt. That was all.
“Oh fuck, do not tell me that,” Wes groaned. “I keep telling myself I’m done jerking it to you, but then you creep back into my head, bastard.”