“See? Watch.” Luis held out a piece of chorizo, but all Blaze did was sniff the air mightily. Selfishly, he was glad that at least she hadn’t immediately taken to Tucker, who tried the same gesture but with egg, and got a swish of her majestic tail for his efforts.
“Maybe it’s simply humanity in general she’s not impressed with,” Tucker suggested as he used a piece of tortilla to scoop up more eggs.
“No, she adored Mike. In his lap every chance she got, eating from his hand, acting like a spoiled princess getting a massage when he brushed her...so it’s not all humans. Just most.”
“Well, maybe not everyone can be as special as that.” There was something guarded about Tucker’s expression and a certain cautiousness in his tone. “Maybe Mike was just one of a kind?”
“He was. Big blond bear of a guy but exceptionally gentle with little kids and small animals. But despite Blaze’s devotion, he wasn’t a saint.” He didn’t want Tucker thinking that like the cat he’d put Mike on a pedestal where no other guy could ever reach. “He could be moody, and we fought about stupid stuff enough that I used to tease him that if I was a cat I’d win more arguments with his stubborn ass.”
Tucker laughed at that, but it was muted as were his eyes. “And still you miss him. I get that. You don’t see yourself ever having another serious relationship?”
Move to California and we’ll see. The flirty response was right there on his tongue, but that wouldn’t be fair. Tucker wasn’t leaving this place, no matter what had gone down with his family. Everyone at the game had known him and the boys. He had Heidi and Isaac and his job and a house and a whole life here. A fling with an old friend wasn’t ever going to be enough incentive to pull up stakes.
“Maybe someday,” he said instead, because he could see that for the first time in a very long time, but when he closed his eyes it was Tucker he saw, Tucker he wanted, not some faceless future partner. He hadn’t thought his heart would ever come back online after Mike, but Tucker had a way of wiggling past his sternest resolve.
“I don’t begrudge Heidi any of her happiness with Isaac, but there are times when I miss having an adult person to come home to, someone to watch TV with when the kids are in bed, someone to fuss over, a reason to not eat cereal for dinner, that sort of thing.”
“I hear you. I miss having someone to cook for the most. Eating alone with a cat giving me the evil eye isn’t the same.”
“And I imagine other alone stuff sucks for you, too?” More of that careful tone from Tucker like there was something deeper he wanted to know but wasn’t sure how to dig for it.
“You asking if I miss regular sex?” Luis laughed.
“Yeah.” Tucker’s cheeks pinked up, and he busied himself with the last of his eggs. “Sometimes I miss touch like hugging. And kissing, especially like what we had when we were younger. But, honestly, I haven’t had enough experience with truly memorable sex for it to be the number one thing I miss when I think about relationships, about sharing that connection with someone. But I imagine it’s way higher on your list.”
“Well...” Luis drew the word out, trying to feel his way toward the right response because he sensed Tucker needed some sort of reassurance. “Sex is awesome and yeah, I miss it, but it isn’t the most important thing to me in a relationship by any means.”
“No?” Tucker’s tone stayed cautiously curious.
“Maybe when I was younger, but having been in a couple of long-term relationships now, I can say that quantity tends to vary wildly over time, ebbs and flows. I’ve never really been one for juggling multiple partners at the same time, so I’ve always had a very robust relationship with my right hand.”
“It’s a nice hand.” Tucker’s blush darkened. “And, uh, me too.”
“Ha. I might not be demisexual, but like you, I really value connection, especially now that I’m older. Quality over quantity every time for me. I can dish out orgasms on my own, but I can’t duplicate that connection.” After clearing the plates, he came to stand next to Tucker and put a hand on his shoulder.
“That was what I liked most the other night.” Tucker leaned into Luis’s touch. “How close I felt to you. It surprised me, how good it felt.”
“Do you want to feel good like that again?” He tried to make his voice as low pressure as possible, idly rubbing Tucker’s shoulder as he crouched next to his chair. “It’s okay if you’re not in the mood or distracted by kid stuff or whatever.”