“I can’t.” The words leaked of despair.
He stood and stepped toward me, determination in his eyes. I raised the barrel to his chest. The gun was so heavy, my arms shook, the trig
ger burning my finger.
“Don’t. Please don’t.” My blood rushed so loudly in my ears it almost drowned out my voice.
Jaw tight, he paused.
“I can’t be the reason my papa dies. I can’t . . .” Tears ran down my cheeks. “Just let me go,” I pleaded. “That’s all I want.”
He made a dark, disbelieving sound. “You’re a better liar than I thought.”
“What?” My chest constricted.
“Was this your plan?” he growled. “Were you thinking about saving your goddamn father’s life while fucking me?”
I blanched. “No . . . I didn’t plan this, but even if I did, you have no right to turn this around on me.” I was so overwhelmed I couldn’t find any anger. I didn’t have any more emotion to give. “You lied to me. You used me from the beginning.”
“And I’d do it all again.” The statement was full of venom. I didn’t think I’d ever seen him so furious. It shook the beat of my heart and forced me back a step.
“Please. Just let me go.” It came out as a sob. “That’s all I want.”
“Nyet.”
He wasn’t calling my bluff, though he also wasn’t going to give in. It hurt me more than anything that he thought I could really shoot him. The idea almost made me drop the gun, but I couldn’t. I didn’t mean anything to him. I was a chess piece. And I couldn’t survive being played anymore.
“Please, Ronan—”
“Don’t say my fucking name.”
I flinched. “I won’t,” I promised. “You won’t even have to see me again. Just let me go.”
There was nothing but my tears and silence for a second—this massive void of silence that would devastate anything alive.
And then he called my bluff.
He moved toward me, closing the distance so quickly I jumped back a step, and that was when my clammy finger slipped on the trigger.
Click.
Both of our eyes fell to the pistol in my hands right before I dropped it. The click replayed in my mind on a reel, each time sending a colder wave through me than the last. My thoughts were so jumbled, my body so numb, I couldn’t feel anything but the words in my head.
I just pulled the trigger on him.
The gun wasn’t fully loaded.
I didn’t mean to do it.
Ronan laughed humorlessly. “Guess I got really narcissistic tonight.”
He grabbed my arm and pulled me out of his room and down the hall. In a stunned haze, I didn’t say a word—even as he yanked me down the stairs and out the front door. The icy chill in the night air wrapped around my bare skin and fought the emptiness inside. But I didn’t feel anything, not even the snow beneath my feet while he dragged me through the yard.
Ronan opened the outbuilding door and pushed me in. I only heard his movements as he padlocked the gate to Khaos’s kennel to keep me out of it and the last thing he said before he slammed the door shut behind him.
“Sleep tight, kotyonok.”
noceur