“You won’t tell Ronan what happened, right?”
Albert grunted. “Do not push your luck.”
Hope crashed and burned, and, with a budding sense of urgency, I turned and walked back to the house, slipping through the door onto the freshly cleaned floors Yulia was still mopping near the staircase. Ronan was probably in the library, so I made my way there to explain the situation before Albert got the chance.
“Stop!”
Freezing, I followed Yulia’s irate gaze to the mud I was tracking in as well as the blood dripping from my coat.
“Do not dare take another step!” she growled.
I kicked my ankle boots off toward the door, splattering more mud across the floor. Yulia sputtered in outrage. Again, I started toward my destination but halted at the next screech that reached my ears.
“And the coat, heathen!”
I glared and defiantly shrugged off the coat, letting it fall to a dirty heap on the marble. Before I could take another step, Ronan appeared from the hall that led to the library. Yulia went demurely quiet and began to mop the floor as if she wasn’t just shouting insults at me.
The touch of his stare stalled the beat of my heart, washing in heat and uncertainty. Trying to conceal the wound as if it would protect Khaos, I held my wrist to my chest, but I couldn’t hide the blood trailing down my arm. Ronan took in the sight, his eyes clouding over like a dark winter sky. I had a feeling he already knew what happened—no thanks to twenty-first century technology—and it was confirmed only a second later.
Coolly, he pulled the handgun from his waistband and headed past me and out the door.
My stomach plummeted. An icy sensation shocked me like an electric wire, freezing my feet to the floor. As soon as the knowledge of what he planned to do sank in, I turned and ran after him. In my haste, I almost collided with a guard on the porch, who bit out a curse, but it was lost to me as well as the chill of snow beneath my bare feet.
“No!” I reached Ronan and grabbed his arm, but he shook off my hand. “Don’t do this,” I begged. My heart beat so hard it stole my breath. I moved in front of him to block his way to the kennel, only for him to push past me.
“Just let me explain!”
Grabbing a fistful of his shirt at his waist, I forced myself between him and Khaos again. I was trying to restrain a brick wall, and it only worked because he let me.
Ronan paused, drew a hard gaze to mine, and pointed to the house with his gun. “Go back inside.”
I ignored him and blurted, “He was hurt!” My grip tightened on his shirt, tears stinging the backs of my eyes. “I knew there was a chance he would bite me, but I helped him anyway. It’s my fault, not his!”
Ronan wasn’t listening to me. He didn’t care about the reason.
A blanket of tension lay over the yard, all eyes on us.
“Go. Inside.” His voice was calm, but the edges were rough, commanding absolute obedience and twisting my resolve. His gaze penetrated my blood with ice. He would do this no matter how much I begged. He would destroy Khaos and stomp on my soft heart in the process. Because I was worthless to him. Just like I was to my papa, to The Moorings, and to Ivan. But now I’d experienced a tiny slice of belonging in getting through to Khaos, I refused to let Ronan steal it from me.
Contempt swallowed me whole, lighting a fire in my veins.
“You want my misery? Then take it!” I shoved his chest, the ache in my wrist shooting up my arm. “You can have all of it, but I won’t let you do this.”
His jaw clenched when I hit him again, but he didn’t budge from his spot.
“You don’t throw things away just because they hurt you!” My chest heaved, the force of my feelings sending my blood pressure diving again, and black spots swam in my blurred vision. A wave of dizziness dropped my gaze to his lips; to the thin scar through the bottom one. The chill biting at my skin kept me conscious even as my ears rang like I’d been sucked underwater. It reminded me of how I believed he’d gotten the scar.
A heaviness pooled in my chest, snuffing out the anger within. “You hurt me . . .” The quiet words disappeared in a gust of wind that sent snow whipping through the air. “And I still would have helped you. I would have saved you when you were a boy, even knowing what you would do to me . . .”
I was crying steadily, laying out my heart at Ronan’s feet in front of all of his men, while his expression conveyed he’d be more interested in reading the dull section of the newspaper. Though something obscure passed through his eyes before they slid to my wrist, which throbbed with my heartbeat. Then he looked at my bare feet, making me painfully aware of the snow burning my soles.
The high emotions dropped, leaving me drained and unsteady. When I swayed, he put the gun back in his waistband, wrapped an arm around my waist, and lifted me. The man could shoot an old woman’s pet Fluffy without remorse, and still, I felt comfort in his arms.
A shiver coasted through me, my chilled body absorbing the heat of his. “I’ll hate you forever if you hurt him,” I said numbly.
“Your dramatics are a bit much for a Tuesday morning.”
His words made me uncomfortably aware of all the eyes on us. As a little embarrassment arose, I turned my face into Ronan’s neck and murmured, “It was a great monologue.”