I couldn’t hold on to resentment or anxiety of what he may do in the future. I wouldn’t live my life like that. I would just have to take it one day at a time and let the inevitable work its way out when it did.
“How did I get ready before you?” I teased, leaning against the back door.
His lips tipped up as he grabbed his keys off the counter and then typed something into a security system keypad near his office door.
Hesitation settled in me when he didn’t respond. He’d seemed more distant since our conversation this morning. What did I expect? I was sure he thought I was involved with some man, and I had never made it clear that I wasn’t. I’d told him I didn’t want to marry him, and I wasn’t a virgin, which I was sure he wanted since he picked Adriana. Or maybe he just preferred her?
Why did he even want me?
He could have anyone he wanted. Any virgin from here to the west coast would be delighted if they could get past his reputation.
I realized then that I wanted him to want me.
Where a deep attraction had hummed for him since I’d met him, there was something else coming to life, pulsing like a weak beat on a heart rate monitor. I could almost hear the beep echo in my ears. Almost feel the thrum in my chest. But it wasn’t of me.
It felt like man, clean sweat and whiskey.
Twinkling urban lights. High heels and short dresses. Too many drinks and meaningless sex hanging like an inevitable in the air. Nightlife was in full swing as we made our way into a side door of the club.
I’d never been to a nightclub before. Had never been one of these girls who waited to get into my fiancé’s club. Who might’ve even had sex with him for all I knew. Some unease curled in my stomach. How could I ever please him when I was sure he’d been with much more experienced women? It was a hit to my womanhood imagining I would bore him in bed. He hadn’t even tried to get me there—had just given me an orgasm like it was an engagement present and left.
I chewed the inside of my cheek in thought. The idea that he might not want to sleep with me only made me want it more. Just his hand on my arm and his presence by my side warmed me from the inside out.
Nico guided me down a red-carpeted hall. The lighting was low, and the air carried a hint of fresh cigarette smoke. Wasn’t it illegal to allow smoking in one’s establishment in New York? A smile pulled on my lips. His most heinous crime, I bet.
An electric beat pulsed through the walls as purple and blue strobe lights flickered into the hall like they’d escaped the dance floor. We went down a set of stairs and then stopped at a heavy metal door. Nico stood so close behind me his jacket touched my back. Over my head, he knocked five times in a heavy rap with a short pause in between each.
A moment later, the door swung open and a dark-haired hostess in a tight black dress stood on the other side. “Signor Russo.” She smiled brightly at him, but then her smile fell as her eyes came down and regarded me. Her gaze narrowed, fake eyelashes and all. She did a great job with her makeup, I had to admit, but the way her lips curled in disgust like I was a cheap prostitute was blatantly rude.
Ugh. My first day out with Nico and I was the most unpopular woman in the city.
I would have brushed it off before, not having the guts to confront it in any way. Nonetheless, I was now marrying a don. I couldn’t let myself be run over by waitresses. It felt a little ridiculous, like I was playing immature games, but I reached back and slipped my fingers in between Nico’s.
He stilled as if I surprised him, but after a second, his fingers tightened around my own. And then I felt a light smack on my ass to get me moving. The gesture made me warm everywhere, but thankfully it didn’t reach my face.
I didn’t look at the waitress again, though I believed she got the picture. He could do whatever or whoever he wanted, but not in my presence. There was a certain amount of respect I was due, and I didn’t think even Nico would deny me that.
I dropped his hand and stepped onto a short steel staircase. I blinked, taking it all in.
A thick atmosphere hung in the air that I wouldn’t have expected in a place like this. For starters, it looked like there were maybe two women in the room, including the one at the door. The gross majority were men, from suits to board shorts and polos.
Poker tables were distributed around the large area, with players occupying seats in front of them, all in different stages of betting their life savings away.
I followed Nico down the stairs, observing the obvious illegal gaming hall. A card game ended, and as the players stood, all five lit a cigarette and headed to the corner of the room.
“Are they not allowed to smoke at the tables?” I asked Nico.
“They can. Most times it’s a tell so they wait until the game’s over.”
Interesting.
I liked to know weird stuff like this.
I fired questions at him all the way to his office, from how much the House made in one night (roughly twenty grand) to why there were only two women (they were distracting).
The gambling was serious enough that distractions weren’t wanted in any way. Nobody paid me an ounce of attention as we walked toward the back of the room. The men at the tables were statues of concentration, and the ones smoking were sweating from their losses or too busy texting about their winnings.
His office was a perfect square with a blue, stylish couch, a mahogany desk with a couple chairs in front of it, a flat-screen TV, and a minibar. I set my clutch on the glass coffee table, while he pushed a button on his keyboard to get the computer started.