I lie down on the couch and toss and turn for most of the night. I’m restless as dreams of Nellie and Elijah both haunt and excite me.
Elijah’s voice startles me awake and I see it’s light outside. I rub my face as I check my watch and realize in my exhaustion I must have slept late.
“I called for you over an hour ago to come have breakfast. I thought you were still playing.”
“Couldn’t sleep,” I say, rubbing my hand down my face.
“Me too. But just think, after today we won’t want to anymore.” He winks at me and sets a thermos of coffee in front of me before walking out.
I mumble my thanks as I bring it to my lips and take a sip. The warm black beans heat me from the inside and already I’m thinking about seeing Nellie.
After I’ve showered and had some breakfast, Elijah begins to pace. I sit at the breakfast bar and try not to fidget because he’s nervous enough for the both of us.
“If you keep doing that she’s going to have to pick out new flooring,” I say and Elijah stops. He turns to stare at me, but he sighs and then nods as he comes over to sit next to me.
“Why am I so nervous?”
“Because you’re afraid of rejection? You’re afraid that our sick, twisted plan may not work?”
“It’s not sick and twisted,” he defends and rolls his eyes.
“Not to us. But I keep trying to think about what she’s going to tell her mom.”
“Her mom loves us.” Elijah pushes around a tiny crumb on the counter with his finger, not looking at me.
“She does, but she hasn’t had to imagine the two of us tag-teaming her baby girl.” I sigh and shake my head. “She’s going to lose people she cares about if she chooses this.”
“Then they don’t truly care about her and don’t deserve to be in her life.” He looks heated now as he turns his eyes on me.
“I’m not disagreeing with you. I’m merely telling you the stumbling blocks that give me doubt.”
“Well then stop it.”
“Fair enough,” I concede and we smile at one another.
“It could be that she doesn’t love the place. Did you ever think about that?”
I look around our home and shake my head. “That’s where you’re wrong, brother. This is the one thing I know without a doubt that she’ll want.”
“You better be right,” he warns and I shrug.
“Have I been wrong yet?” When he raises an eyebrow at me, I hold my hand up. “Wait, don’t answer that.”
Just as he opens his mouth to respond, there’s a knock at the door.
Chapter Seven
Nellie
My hand pauses before I knock on the thick wooden double doors. Once again I’m stalling. I stayed as long as I could at Harlow’s this morning to put off this moment and I still don’t know what I’m going to do. My heart aches with the mixture of betrayal and longing simmering under my arousal. It’s a throb that’s settled deep inside of me and no matter how much I try and push it away it’s still there.
I tried to fix the ache this morning by touching myself while I was in the shower. I hoped I could make it go away long enough so I could think straight, but I was wrong. My mind kept conjuring up Elijah with his hand between my legs only this time Owen was there too. He stood there watching Elijah have his way with me while he jerked himself off. He had his hand down his pants enjoying what Elijah was doing to me as much as I did. I came, but it was nothing compared to how hard Elijah got me off. In fact, the ache became worse because my body knows what it’s missing now. I have a feeling only their touches will be the cure.
But it’s all a fantasy and I know it could never be a reality. I just wish my stupid heart would listen to me. I can’t pick between them and I know I can’t have both.
I think maybe I’ve gone too long without trying to date, or maybe I need to get away from the two of them. After spending the morning at Harlow’s and holding her little boy my need is only worse.
I need to square my shoulders and grab a hold of this. This is how I get through life and this should be no different. I’m going to put it out there that even though something happened with Elijah, it has to stop. If we ignore whatever this is, it will go away. I’ve got a carefully made plan laid out in my mind, but the second the door opens it all vanishes.
Standing there is Owen looking big and strong and incredible. I take a breath but don’t get a word out before he grabs my hand and pulls me into the house.