He’d told himself if it didn’t come easy it wasn’t meant to be. He’d told himself that if he was supposed to be with Rory it would have happened after all this time.
He’d told himself a lot of stupid things.
It had been over a year now since he’d kissed Rory. A year, nightly erotic fantasies, a glut of porn and toys, as well as a blowjob from Rig last week that melted his brain, and here he was, frozen with fear that he might do something wrong.
He wanted now. He wanted more of Rig. He wanted Rory. To feel the way he did during that initial kiss and follow where it led. He wanted the love he used to feel from his best friend back with interest. He wanted naked, sweaty, pounding sex so badly he actually ached, but he had no fucking clue how to go about getting it without screwing things up.
This morning when Essie and Rig informed him that he was going to Jennifer Finn’s house to watch Hermione’s pups and finally heal the rift between him and Rory? He’d started packing without hesitation. He’d felt impatient. Excited. He wasn’t sure if this was the right play, but he knew it was time to face his desires head on.
Rory wouldn’t be happy with this invasion, and David had no idea how bad the fallout would be from last night. Either this would be the push they needed to finally get out of limbo or it would be the end.
No pressure.
David groaned and dropped his forehead on the table, anxiety spiking inside him. “Maybe I should stay home and watch more Whedon.”
Instantly two feminine hands were patting his back supportively. “There, there, golden child,” Essie crooned. “Don’t lose that Mills chill you’re so famous for. Between you and Rig, one stubborn Irish boy doesn’t stand a chance.”
“I’m such a coward,” he whispered harshly into the Formica. “I should have been honest with him last year. I hurt him. I haven’t told him anything about what I’ve been going through, and now he’s getting all of it at once. What kind of guy does that to his best friend?”
Janice clicked her tongue against her teeth. “He did the same thing and we all know it. You’re both fantastic at avoiding uncomfortable things. You could teach a class. It’s understandable. Your friendship was the stuff of legend. But both of you are holding on so tightly to what you used to be to each other, that you can’t see it’s already gone.”
His head jerked up. That was not what he wanted to hear. “What do you mean?”
Her smile held an apology. “Truth time. Rory lost his hetero life partner under the mistletoe a few years ago when you found your sex drive, and you lost your best friend after you left him hanging for too long and he drew his own conclusions. Meanwhile poor Rig has been left seesawing between you two, trying to fix what he didn’t break. None of you have been the same since, so stop trying to recapture what was and see if you can’t find something new. Something better.”
Essie groaned and leaned against her. “She’s as wise as she is sexy.”
Janice snickered. “If you say so.”
David nodded, running his hands through his hair. “You’re right. No use crying over spilled milk. Nowhere to go but up. Never give up, never surrender. Forward, ho.”
“Ho?”
He laughed when Essie and Janice both spoke at once and then got to his feet. “I apologize. Forward, strong, intellectually superior goddesses I’m lucky to know.”
His sister handed him the kinky cards and nodded. “Much better. Now go record something we can use and then after that have heartfelt, cerebral conversations that lead to hardcore gay threesomes.”
David had to walk away after that. They’d given him a little too much to think about.
Chapter Five
“We’ve had this argument before, Rory.” David’s lips twitched as the three of them ate dinner in front of the television that doubled as a wall. God bless Declan Kelley for his toys. “Superheroes and Jedis are not the same thing. And you know I’m more a fan of the mythology than the tights, so get your facts straight.”
“Agree to disagree.”
David and Rig shared a look. “I don’t know why I take so much grief from a man who reads all the classics, but will watch anything set in a high school with a broody supernatural hero and sugary pop ballads.” He pointed at Rory. “That gets creepier as you get older, by the way. It’s right up there with your disbelief in dressers and that nasty ice-chewing habit.”
Rory snapped his teeth threateningly. “Keeps my fangs sharp.”
Rig almost choked. “Yes, we know you’re a biter from way back. And I still haven’t forgiven you for introducing my grandmother to the slayer. It’s playing on a loop in her apartment all the time.”