Stephen. Jesus. Stephen knew.
He focused on Tasha to distract him from his own suffering. “Are you finally going to talk to me now that the secret is out? You may as well, right? You know mine. Was that the first time you two were together? Because it didn’t look like it.”
Talk to me. Talk to me so I don’t think about Owen.
Tasha leaned back on the couch, wiping her eyes. “Can’t a girl get a drink before she starts swapping sex stories?”
He stood up and forced his legs to move to the kitchen, grabbing the bottle of tequila and taking a slug before handing it to her. “Drink.”
She did, gasping a little and handing it back. “You’re right, that wasn’t the first time. The first time I was a freshman in college and he was in his fourth year.”
“You mean we were freshman.” He paused, remembering. “Wait, is that the older guy you were skipping classes for and being secretive about? The one who—”
“Yes,” she cut him off, glaring. “That’s the guy.”
“And since then?”
Her fingers pressed against her temples. “Since then we’ve gotten together every few years. Sometimes for a half hour in a broom closet or a damn car, once or twice for an entire weekend. It varies.”
“Every few years? Since college? Tasha, how could you keep this from me for so long? You tell me everything, even when I didn’t want to know. And Owen—hell, you could have saved him years of lusting after you with a few words. The Finns don’t go after their brothers’ girls.”
The Finns protected their own. Finn business. He was shut out from that now and Owen wasn’t answering his phone.
Tasha’s chuckle held no humor. “I’m not Senator Stephen Finn’s girl. I never was. He was already on his do-good path to politics by then, remember? He had very definite ideas about where he was going and how he was going to get there. I was, and am, just a reminder of his good old bad boy days. A kinky itch he needs to scratch before he puts on his super suit to kiss hands and shake babies.”
She shook her head, laughing again. “I mean, come on, Jeremy. Can you even imagine me as a politician’s girlfriend? The headlines would write themselves. Ravenous Rivera’s Three-Way Weekend. Notorious Natasha Gets Whipped at Fetish Club While Boyfriend Cuts Ribbon on New Hospital Wing.” She snorted and reached for the bottle again. “And those would be the tame articles. Stephen can be a bit of a hypocrite, but I like him—I love all the Finns—too much for that.”
Jeremy accepted the bottle when she was done, needing the tequila to soothe his frazzled nerves. He loved them too. That hadn’t stopped him from destroying everything by being careless. “Does he know about us? You and me?”
“Of course. He also knows how important you are to me. And to Owen.”
Owen.
“I think my Finn stock is plummeting as we speak.” He covered his mouth, as if he could hold back the emotions going through him. “He’s never going to want to see me again. Fuck. None of them are.”
They’d send him away, just like his parents. Only this would be so much worse.
“That’s crazy, Jeremy. You’re not thinking straight. They love you, honey. And if Owen doesn’t tell you so himself, he isn’t the man I’ve been friends with all these years. I saw his face when you kissed him. That feeling isn’t something you give up on at the first sign of trouble.”
Jeremy buried his face in his hands. “He was just curious,” he whispered. “He never said… He never says anything like that. He loves the sex—wanted the sex—but that was all it was. We aren’t together. We’re not in love. You can’t even call what we were doing dating. Not really.”
He’d never said anything about them having a future. Never said anything about caring for Jeremy or wanting more from him then friendship and fucking. Jeremy thought…the way he acted…but Owen never said.
“Oh my beautiful man,” Tasha said, her voice wavering. “You know I adore you and I’d do anything for you, but I won’t let you lie to yourself. You might not be sure about how he feels, but you’re in love with him. For the first time in your life you are head over heels and I messed it up. Some friend I turned out to be.”
He reached for her and moved until they were lying on the couch together, her head on his chest. “You’re not responsible for this, Tasha. Scott is. I hope like hell Stephen puts him in his place.”
But even if he did, Owen would still have to face his brothers without him and explain that kiss. What would he say? That it was nothing? That it meant nothing?
“Damn it, I feel fucking helpless.” Every instinct he had was telling him to go, to help. The only thing stopping him was the knowledge that his presence would make the situation worse.