His smile was like a warm blanket on a chilly night: comforting. I wouldn’t put him in a mental box and lock him away. I was going to savor these memories.
Film’s a go, he texted. I saved the photo and the text.
“Good news?” Shannon had peeked over my shoulder. “He looks dashing.” Her eyes were thoughtful as they moved over my face.
***
Now, after intentionally running myself ragged all day, I’d expected to feel exhausted. Instead I was restless. I lay in bed feeling drowsy but couldn’t sleep. The view from my window was amazing. The stars were out in force and the waves rolled onto the sand. I turned over and tried to close my eyes.
My flight was in less than six hours. I was ready to get back to the kids. But I felt something painful hovering around the edge
of my subconscious when I thought about leaving Josh. There were times when his voice, his jaw-dropping smile, his sweet words and thoughtful eyes filled me with such happiness that it took my breath away.
My mind replayed our time together, almost like a dream. I sighed and rolled over again, his name a whisper on my lips.
“Are you dreaming of me or did you hear me come in?” His voice was in my ear. His lips dropped a whisper of a kiss on my earlobe.
I didn’t open my eyes, but smiled as his nose trailed along my neck. “I’m dreaming of you. You might not be here.”
The sheets lifted and I turned into him, sighing as his hands slid over my skin.
“You can dream of me every night we’re apart. Tonight I’m here,” he whispered.
Panic flared, his words stealing my smile. My eyes flew open to look at him in the moonlight-filled room. His face was intent, both sad and a bit desperate as he bent to kiss me. Warm lips, soft and light, brushed my cheeks, my nose, my forehead, my eyes, and then my lips again.
I wrapped my arms around him and held him to me. His body fit against me perfectly, and I pressed myself to him as tightly as I could. I may not want to admit to myself that I loved him, but my heart knew. I ached. The thought of leaving him tomorrow hurt.
He lay back against the pillow, breathing deeply. He held me against his chest. His heartbeat was strong and slightly rapid beneath my cheek.
“You look dashing as a fighter pilot,” I said against his chest.
He grunted in acknowledgement. His hand moved beneath my hair, running up and down my back.
I leaned into his touch a little and sighed. “I signed on with Bertram today.”
He pulled back, tipping my chin up. “Congratulations, Claire. That’s fantastic.” His eyes were warm.
I smiled uncertainly. “Is everything okay?”
He looked at me, searching my face for what seemed like an eternity. “No.”
I sat up, pulling the sheet to keep myself covered. “What happened?”
He looked pained as he took my hand, placing it on his chest. His lopsided grin appeared while his hands tightened around mine. “You.”
My face fell. “Me?” I whispered.
“Claire.” His voice grew rough as he said, “I’ve never felt this way before.”
My breath caught in my throat. His heart was thundering under my hand.
“I love you.” He spoke very deliberately. “I have no expectation of hearing you say anything, but I want you to know that I mean it, more than I’ve ever meant anything. I love you, and your leaving is tearing a hole in my heart.”
He let go of my hand, placing his hand against my chest. His eyes fell to his hand. My heart was racing under his warm palm. He must be able to feel that. He smiled, his gaze moving to mine.
I don’t know what I’d expected him to say, but not this. Joy filled me. He pulled me to him, catching the sheet to bring me close. His lips were soft and gentle on mine.
I kissed him back, shivering as his fingers slid through my hair, along my back, resting at the base of my spine.