She was more afraid of what he would see on hers.
The silence in her room was absolute.
Her legs felt so weak it took effort to make it to the nearby armchair and slump into it. She covered her mouth with her hand. Lipstick she’d applied for the first time in three years had been kissed off.
She had never been kissed like that before.
Dear God, she burned inside and out: a furnace of desire inside, intense mortification at his abrupt rejection on the outside.
Dante dragged his fingers roughly through his hair, cursing himself with all the obscenities he hadn’t used since his teenage years.
What the hell was wrong with him? He’d resisted temptation many times in his adult life, mostly with wives and partners of friends who assumed his reputation meant he had no morals, and would flirt, give him the come-to-bed eyes and engineer situations at parties where they would be alone together. Beautiful, sexy women who, if they had been single, he would have taken what they were offering without hesitation. He’d resisted every one of them without hesitation.
If people were in a committed relationship then they should respect that, not go fishing for a bigger catch.
His father had had no such morals and that, until he’d discovered the existence of his secret sister, had been the only thing that had really pained Dante about him. He’d accepted his gambling addiction as an illness, but his pursuit of any female who would give him the time of day regardless of her relationship status had chipped away at Dante’s respect for him.
Dante had always thought he was better than that, and yet here he was, acting on desires he’d sworn to resist. Pulling away from Aislin’s arms had been one of the hardest things he’d ever done and his aching, lust-ridden body protested loudly.
When he’d gathered enough control over himself that he could at least hear himself think over the thuds of his pounding heart, he looked at Aislin, slumped in the armchair, her face in her hands.
Her back was making jerky movements.
‘Are you okay?’
She slowly raised her head. ‘Getting there.’
His jaw clenched. ‘I didn’t mean for that to happen.’
‘Neither did I,’ she muttered.
‘I gave you my word that this deal between us would be platonic and I have broken that promise.’ And that broken promise disgusted him. Damn it, he was a man of his word. ‘I can only apologise.’
‘Are you apologising for the kiss or for the broken promise?’
‘Both.’
A flash of anger appeared in her eyes. ‘I don’t want it. We were both party to it and to apologise...feels demeaning.’
‘I would never intentionally demean you.’ He swore under his breath and sucked in a large breath of air. ‘It’s impossible...’
‘I know. You made it clear by your actions when you pulled away that you regret kissing me; you don’t need to spell it out. I might not be beautiful and sophisticated like all your girlfriends are but I’m not a complete idiot. You don’t fancy me. The kiss just happened.’ She jumped to her feet and put on an airy smile that was so obviously fake his heart twisted at the effort it must have taken her to make it. ‘It’s one of those things. Let’s forget all about it.’
She went to stride past him and, without thinking, he snatched hold of her arm. ‘What are you talking about?’
Her cheeks became radishes again. ‘It doesn’t matter. I’m being silly. I’m embarrassed, okay? You didn’t mean to kiss me.’
‘Aislin...’ He closed his eyes and released her arm before he did something really stupid like kiss her again. He stepped out of arm’s reach. ‘You’re right that I didn’t mean to kiss you, and right that you’re not sophisticated like my old girlfriends. I thank God that you’re not. But you’re wrong about everything else.’
There was a long period of silence then. ‘What are you saying?’
‘Dio, Aislin, have you not felt the chemistry between us?’
She stared down at the carpet. ‘I thought I was imagining it.’
‘Imagining it?’ He could laugh at her naivety. ‘Oh, dolcezza, no, you were not imagining it. You are possibly the most beautiful woman I have met in my life. You are loyal and funny, and sexier than any woman should be allowed to be, but I think we both know it would be foolish to allow anything to happen. Forget our family and the complications they bring, speaking only of you and me...’ His mind raced ahead of him, his tongue trying to catch up on developing thoughts he realised had been there part-formed from the start. ‘I’m not the heartbreaker the media portrays me as but I’m not a saint. I don’t believe in love and for ever, I don’t want a family and I only date women with the same mind-set. When I said you were different, I meant it. I wouldn’t be good for you. You deserve better than me.’
With baited breath, he waited for her to respond.