I could barricade my logical side behind the emotions threatening to spill over but that would be taking too much of a risk. Alaric was adept at wielding words and making me question things. I couldn’t afford to go for any more rides on his carousel.
Holding myself together was just as important as getting the hell out of here while my sanity was intact.
“And you’re sure it’s a match?” he asked whoever was on the receiving end of his call.
His gaze didn’t waver even when he picked up his cup of coffee and took a sip.
I shifted uncomfortably beneath the weight of his stare. Seeing as he wasn’t going to end his conversation just because I was awake, I assumed that meant I could go outside. Like with the phone, he hadn’t gone out of his way to prevent me from doing this, but the dynamic between the two of us was anything but normal.
I took a step back and then another before turning away altogether. I made my way through the great room, bypassing the beautiful piano to get to the patio.
Outside, I kept walking until I was on the other side of the pool.
I unlocked my cell and checked to make sure I hadn’t been followed before placing my next call. I didn’t know if this was the best move to make, but I was running out of options.
I took a breath and tapped the icon to dial my mother. She answered before the second ring was completed.
“Kitten, I was wondering when you would call me,” she enthused. “How have you been?”
“Mom, I need you to listen to me,” I spoke low, yet firmly to get her full attention.
“Catalina?” she replied questioningly, her tone going from joyous to concerned.
Yes. This is what I needed. My mother was overbearing and majority of the time too much for me to handle, but there were instances where I could count on her. I hoped this would be one of them.
“Mom…I need you to help get me home,” I said softly, glancing over my shoulder to check for Alaric.
There wasn’t a reply.
It was so quiet I thought we might have gotten disconnected.
I pulled my phone away from my ear to check, seeing the timer for the call was still ticking away.
“Mom?”
“Kitten, are you sure now is good for you?”
“What do you mean?”
“My dear, you can come to visit me anytime you’d like but right now I think you should stay and let Alaric help you get better. Get yourself back on track.”
What was she talking about? Even for her, this was not the reaction I thought it would be nor one I would have ever imagined.
“Visit you? I want to go home to my house, mother. And what do you mean get better? There isn’t anything wrong with me.”
A defeated sigh blasted through my speaker.
“Kitten. As much as I would love to step in, I think Alaric is the best thing for you right now.”
Alaric.
Why did everything circle back to my sister’s widow? The dangerous, enigma of a man that had openly divulged he’d been giving me some experimental drug. Did I tell her this? Would she even believe me? By the way, this conversation was going I had high reason to doubt that she would.
“Alaric cannot help me,” I settled with.
“Of course, he can. The man is a brilliant doctor.”
“He’s not a real fucking doctor!”
Her sharp intake of breath was the last thing I heard before I disconnected the call. I fought against the urge to throw my phone and keep my breathing level.
She wasn’t going to help me.
It was foolish of me to think for one second that she would.
While I was sure my mother cared about me in a sad maternal way, when she had an objective of her own, I tended to become the cannon fodder. She’d wanted me with Alaric from the beginning. More than likely before I ever knew he existed.
I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around myself, inhaling deeply, getting a chest full of the briny sea scent I had been longing for. When I reopened them, I stared longingly at the endless expanse of sparkling blue sitting just beyond Alaric’s private sandy cove.
How nice it would be if I could start walking and not stop until I made it to the middle of the ocean where no one could bother me? I wouldn’t have to be concerned with the world and its overbearing pressures any longer. No one would ever question my mental health or force their wills upon me.
I remained like this for a minute or so trying to figure out what I should do now. I suppose I needed to start with putting some actual clothes on. There wasn’t much security in only a robe.
I uncrossed my arms and started to turn around, faltering when I saw Alaric standing a mere few feet away.