But he didn’t want to say goodbye, either.
“I should just let him go,” she said in a sad way.
“It’s gotta be tough,” he murmured. “What with Rick having worked on him. Last ties and all that.”
Her hair had fallen forward and was blocking his view to her face, so he reached out—as if he had any right to reposition the waves behind her ear. Before he made contact, though, he snatched his hand back.
“You mind if I step away and smoke?” he asked. “I’ll stay downwind.”
“No, that’s fine. I just want to have a little more time.”
Daniel nodded, even though she wasn’t looking at him.
Walking off a short distance, he leaned back against a tree and took out the open pack. As he flipped the top, he was surprised to find so many of the Marlboros gone. When had he been smoking so much? Whatever. Lighting up, he coughed into his fist and then stared out to the valley. The northernmost tip of the lake was gleaming in the sunshine and the unseasonable warmth seemed like a peace offering from the weather, a way of making up for the brutal, long winter.
God, he was tired. And that fucking nightmare, just what he didn’t need—
“I think he’s coming around,” Lydia said. “We better lay him down and move away. We can watch him to make sure he fully revives, from a distance. Rick always …” Her voice caught and she cleared her throat. “When Rick and I used to do this, we made sure that the wolves were safe, but not interfered with. He wouldn’t … well, he never approved of me getting so close.”
Daniel glanced at the lit Marlboro. For some reason, it was down nearly to the quick, like he’d been puffing for a good ten minutes.
His sense of time was really fucked, wasn’t it.
“You took amazing care of him,” he said as he killed the butt with his fingertips and put it in his back pocket. “That’s all that matters.”
As he went over to her, she said, “Rick’s standards were higher than mine—or maybe my heart is just too in it. I should be more professional.”
Studying her, Daniel thought, I want to hold this memory forever. Of this woman and her wolf, both so fierce, so fragile.
“You’re beautiful,” he said hoarsely.
Her shy eyes lifted to his. “My hair’s a mess.”
“Don’t change, Lydia. Keep your heart just as it is. Will you promise me that?”
She blinked as if he were speaking in a foreign language. Then she tilted her head. “You sound so ominous.”
“Here, I’ll get him off of you.”
As he bent down to get his arms under the animal, the smell of Lydia, of her shampoo, her clothing detergent, her skin … was enough to burrow into his brain and knock out his higher reasoning. Forcing himself to remember what the hell he was doing, he picked up the wolf and straightened.
“Where do you want me to lay him?” he asked.
And she was right about the animal coming around. Those closed eyelids were not so closed anymore, and there was resistance in the legs and in the neck that hadn’t been there when they’d done this back at the pen.
“Over here,” she said. “In this patch of sunlight.”
Lydia walked up a little incline and then dropped into a crouch in front of a soft bed of pine needles that was glowing with golden illumination.
As Daniel went to her and put the wolf down, the sun bathed the animal in a pool of beautiful light.
“He’ll be warm here,” he said. “That’s the idea.”
They stood up at the same time. Then she put her hands on her hips and stared down.
“Come on,” Daniel murmured. “He’s really waking up.”
On that note, the wolf’s eyes locked on Daniel and those jowls twitched like innate aggression was also coming back online—and the predator didn’t like what he was looking at. Yet there was nothing like that sent Lydia’s way. It was almost as if the animal was protecting her.
Yeah, well, back off, fuzz ball, I got that job, Daniel thought to himself.
Although for how much longer?
He put his hands up and took a step back from the wolf. “Relax, I’m not going to hurt her.”
“I’m not sure he speaks English.”
Daniel found his stare returning to the woman who was haunting him, even as he was standing right next to her.
“Well,” he said roughly, “I mean it just the same.”
I PROMISE, I’LL BRING it back in one piece.”
As Lydia stood over Candy’s desk, she smiled at the other woman like everything was fine. Like life hadn’t gone haywire. Like she wasn’t lost in familiar surroundings.
“You look like shit,” the woman said.
“Are we back at this again?” Lydia pushed her hair off her face. “We talked about not using that kind of language.”
“Did we? I can’t recall. Fine, poo-poo. Is that better? Or do you want me to go with ‘doody.’ ” Candy motioned around the empty waiting area. “God knows I wouldn’t want to offend alllllll these people in here. I mean, we got a standing-room-only full of churchgoers. These hankies start flying and we’re at Six Flags without the rides.”