Are you going to kill me? Her question has been running through my mind on replay, like on an old broken cassette player, only her voice isn’t distorted. It’s soft and gentle but poisoned with fear. Fear of me killing her.
She thought I was going to kill her. But that’s not the worst part. The worst part is that she was right. Normally, that’s something we would do. Kill people for owing us money, for stealing from us, betraying us in any way.
That’s the kind of person I am, the kind of people my family are. We’re ruthless, and we take the lives of those who cross our paths the wrong way. I would never hurt her, but her thinking I would is not that far off.
I’m a killer. Which is exactly the reason I tracked down Randy and put a bullet in his brain. I’m still angry with myself for not knowing the connection. I didn’t even know Randy had a fucking wife, let alone was fostering kids. Who the fuck gives a kid to a sleazebag like that?
He deserved what I did, and Hazel deserves better.
She doesn’t belong in my world. Whether it’s intentional or not, she will end up getting hurt if I keep her.
I’m spread out on the couch when I hear my front door open. All of my brothers have a key to my house, so it’s not a surprise that they just walk in, though I wish they would just leave me alone for once.
“Dude, you look terrible,” Archer’s voice fills the space a moment before his large frame comes into view. He is the youngest out of my five brothers, but we are all about the same size, and it’s been like that since puberty.
“What’s up?”
“Just coming to check up on you. Why are you sleeping on the couch, and when did you shower last? You stink.”
“What are you, my nanny?”
“If I have to be. Apparently, you need one… and a maid.” He takes in the living room, kicking away an empty cracker box with a disgusted look on his face. “Looks like you built a nest or something. Come on, get up and shower. We’ll go get something real to eat.”
“No thanks.”
“I don’t know why you are doing this. She is just as miserable as you are. Just end this and go see her.”
“How do you know she’s miserable?”
“Because Maddie and I went there to check on her. What are you so worried about anyway?”
“She doesn’t belong in our world.”
“You think Madison does? I know she is too good for me. I know being with her puts her in danger, but I also know that I’ll do anything to protect her. And I know you guys have my back… now, at least.”
I cringe at the comment. I didn’t trust Madison at first, and I gave the twins the worst time when they started dating Payton. I didn’t think I would ever fall for someone like my brothers did.
“Come on, asshole, get up and shower. We’re leaving in ten minutes.”
“I’m not going. She doesn’t even want me there.”
“She’s been asking for you.” Archer’s words have me perking up, and I push myself to sit.
“She did?”
The asshole rolls his eyes at me. “You are so pussy whipped. It would be funny if I didn’t have to deal with your smelly ass. Now for the love of god, go shower before I puke.”
The thought of seeing Hazel, of holding her in my arms just a few hours from now, is like dynamite under my ass. I jump up from the couch and basically run up the stairs. I take a quick but thorough shower and brush my teeth. I’m dressed and ready to go ten minutes later.
“Ah, there he is,” Archer jokes. “Wasn’t sure if that was even my brother under that layer of grime.”
“Shut up and drive me to the safe house before I kick your ass.”
Archer gives me a fake salute. “Aye aye, captain.”
“Dumbass.” I punch his arm as I pass him, eager to get out the door. Archer follows me, and we both get in the car.
The drive is only an hour, but it feels like a week. With every mile we get closer, excitement grows in my gut. Excitement, nerves, fear… Hazel is the only person who can make me feel those things, and I don’t think there will ever be another one for me.
“Shit, I think I’m in love with her.”
Archer tips his head back and bursts out into laughter. “No shit, Sherlock. You really are a dumbass sometimes.”
“Fuck… what if she doesn’t love me back?”
“Then you’ll probably shrivel up and die.” Archer shrugs, and I’ve never wanted to punch him in his smug face more than now.
“Just shut up and drive.”
By the time we finally pull into the dirt road leading to the safe house, I’m a fucking mess. I think I might really shrivel up and die if she rejects me.