I didn’t get far. Aiden caught up to me and tugged my elbow.
“This way, Murphy. Don’t argue with me.”
I closed my eyes briefly and followed him to his truck.
We drove in silence until we reached the freeway.
“Do you think he believed me?” I asked.
“No.”
“I’m sorry. Newton didn’t mean any harm. He really was just so…grateful.”
Aiden reached for my hand and squeezed it. “That’s nice.”
“He outed you, Aiden. And it was my fault.”
“Hey, don’t jump to conclusions, G. We’re fine.”
Right. Fine.
This was fine.
“Will you take me to my parents’ house, please?”
He inclined his head and bypassed my exit, continuing east on the freeway. He started talking too. It was filler, designed to lighten the mood and restore balance. My SUV wasn’t an issue, he’d make sure I had it tonight, and something about his schedule. I hummed occasionally, but he probably knew I wasn’t listening. My head was spinning. I needed a safe, quiet place to sort out my thoughts, and I knew I wouldn’t find it at my place.
Aiden went quiet when he pulled in front of my parents’ Spanish-style home. He took his seat belt off and shifted to face me.
“Listen, I’ll talk to Timmy. He’s a man of few words, and he’s not going to say anything.”
“Newton won’t either.”
“Right. So, there’s nothing to worry about.”
I stared at the hedge in front of the neighbor’s house with my lips pursed until I thought I could speak clearly. “Maybe, maybe not. Hiding isn’t really a good option, though. Not in the long run.”
“It won’t be like this forever, G. I had an interview today. I don’t want to get my hopes up or jinx myself, but it went…amazing. I think I have a good chance.”
“That’s great.”
“Yes, and if I get it or…when I get something else, I can begin again. Start over from scratch.”
“I want that for you,” I whispered.
“I want it for us.”
“There is no us, Aiden.”
“George…”
“We can’t do this. It’s over. It has to be over.”
He furrowed his brow. “I don’t—why? I don’t get it.”
“Our number one rule is in danger. We’re friends first, remember? What happened back there is the tiniest sliver of reality. A cousin who won’t tell, a work associate who feels bad and probably sorry for me too…which sucks, but whatever.” I unbuckled my seat belt and picked up my bag. “We had a deal. You wanted to find out something about yourself and you did. We made rules, we made a game of it, but this was always an experiment. And it was always going to end.”
“No, it doesn’t have to,” he argued. “We also said we might need amendments, so we’ll make an amendment and—”
“You can’t amend us. We’ve gone too far. I’m dangerous for you. I’m not a random guy you picked up and tried on like a new shoe. You’ve known me for more than half my life. My brother is like a brother to you. We can’t live an alternate life where no one knows that part of us. It’s not sustainable. You know that as well as I do.”
“George…”
“I don’t want to be a complication for you. I don’t want to hold you back or keep you from a future you deserve. I want you to have the best life ever. I’m going to root for you, Aiden. You can count on that. And I’ll always be here for you…just—just not this way.” I swiped at the corner of my eye and swallowed around the grapefruit in my throat as I reached for the handle.
“Hey, stop. Look at me, G.” He tilted my chin, glancing from my nose to my mouth. His eyes welled ominously when he finally met my gaze. “I’m almost there. I’m almost ready. I just need a little more time.”
“You can’t come out for me, Aiden. It has to be for you. And you should take all the time you need. It’s okay. We’re still us…just like we said.” I leaned into his touch and rested my forehead on his. “I don’t think we ever tell our friends that we love them…so I’ll tell you now. I love you, Aiden. I always will.”
I pressed my lips to his, savoring the taste of him mixed with salty tears. Then I opened the door and headed for the house.
Somehow, I lucked out. My mom was on a boisterous call with her business partner, discussing a huge new order. She’d started an online store specializing in kitchen gadgets and cookbooks a year and a half ago, and it had taken off over the holidays. Apparently, they were experiencing a fresh wave of business, thanks to the wedding season. I listened for a moment, then tiptoed by the kitchen and upstairs to my old room.
Believe it or not, this was the safest place to be to avoid the real world. I came home to study for big tests all the time. And with finals coming up, my parents wouldn’t think twice about my presence. If I was more quiet than usual, they’d assume I was concentrating. My friends might ask probing questions. And if I bumped into Ash or Topher, they’d know and I just…wasn’t ready to talk.