He grinned, arching to lift his boxer briefs over his hips as he reached for his shorts. “I loved it.”
“You did? Are you bi? You must be, and you must have some experience. Have you done this before?”
“Yes and no. I’ve been on the receiving end of blowjobs and hand jobs from guys, but it was just feel-good stuff. It didn’t seem like a big deal.”
“You blew a guy and—”
“No, I’ve never touched a man. I’ve never even kissed a man. You’re the first.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“Why now? Why me?”
“I don’t know.”
“Are you freaked out?”
He took a moment to consider the question, then shrugged. “Not really. Should I be?”
“Of course you should be,” I hissed. “I have a dick.”
“Eight inches?”
“Easily.”
Simon waggled his brows and leaned over to cup my package. “Let me see it again. I didn’t get a good look. Take these off.”
“No.” I smacked his hand and shook my head. “We can’t—”
“Yes, we can,” he countered earnestly. “We can do whatever we want. That’s a rule.”
I worried my bottom lip, unsure what to say. “That rule is much too loose.”
“We can work out the kinks along the way.”
His enthusiasm was puzzling…and contagious. I nodded thoughtfully, my mind spinning in ten directions at once before stopping abruptly.
“Kinks?”
Simon chuckled as he pulled his shorts on and yanked his T-shirt over his head. He moved into my space and brushed his fingers along my jaw. “Relax, Toph. Don’t think too hard. If we’re both on the same page, we have nothing to lose, right?”
That sounded logical enough, but I didn’t know if that was true for me. I wasn’t good at measuring and balancing my fears, desires, or bouts of anxiety. But rules helped.
I hoped.
5
Simon
Life had a funny way of throwing curve balls out of the fucking blue. I’d driven to Pasadena, hoping I could persuade Topher to reconsider working for me, and had somehow ended up buck-ass naked on his mattress with his lips around my cock. Talk about a nice surprise.
It wouldn’t have occurred to me to think that was a possibility. I was blown away by the magnetic connection and how quickly we’d come together. It had taken every ounce of self-control I’d possessed not to grab a fistful of his hair and let loose a stream of nasty commands of the “Suck me harder, baby” variety. Although, funny enough, I knew he didn’t mind. He’d been equally swept away in the moment.
It was tempting to claim that it didn’t make sense, but of course it did. Sex was fun. Wanton writhing, sweaty groping, deep kisses…sign me up.
Did I mention that he was an amazing kisser too? I loved the way he wrapped his tongue around mine almost as much as I loved his lips on my dick. I was a big BJ fan and let me attest, Topher’s mouth was fucking magic. He knew how to apply the perfect amount of pressure to give maximum pleasure. He was enthusiastic about it too. He didn’t give head to satisfy his part of some dating ritual. No, he liked it. He wanted my cock, and he wanted me to push him to his limit. He wanted me to take control.
Me. The guy whose life was currently spiraling down the proverbial drain.
Although at this very moment, life didn’t seem quite so bleak. I had a plan in place and someone I trusted to steer me in the right direction…who wasn’t opposed to fooling around on the side.
Yeah, things were looking up.
I returned to Malibu Saturday afternoon with a new attitude. Sure, I was still playing a waiting game that felt more like a race against the clock, but at least I wouldn’t endure the silence alone. That peace of mind worked wonders for me. I slept better, ate better, and felt more hopeful than I had in months. The only issue was that I couldn’t stop thinking about Topher. X-rated thoughts.
That blowjob had sparked a tsunami of unprecedented gay research on my part. Excuse me…gay sex research. I spent most of my weekend with my hand on my junk while I scrolled man-on-man action and read articles about pleasuring your partner’s prostate. I figured I should know what that felt like, so I upturned my bathroom and found the dildo one of my teammates had given me as a gag gift in college. I scrubbed it, lubed it up, and just…played at my leisure. No shame whatsoever.
To be honest, I didn’t get far. I lay flat on my back with my computer propped on a pillow, my legs open, and a slicked finger in my hole. I had a hard time relaxing enough to get a second finger inside, let alone the toy. I couldn’t imagine having another man’s dick in my ass, but I definitely wanted to fuck one. No…not just any guy. I wanted Topher.