“EN Tech. That’s the firm in Silicon Valley. The one I told you was my ‘pie in the sky’ dream job. I met the department head a couple of weeks ago, but one of the owners was there with his husband and their baby and…wow, I had a good feeling about it, but I didn’t think I’d get it.”
“Why not? You’re the smartest guy I know. You deserve a chance to prove yourself.”
Ned blinked back tears and smiled. “Thank you.”
“When do you start?”
“I don’t know. I told Eric I was free any time after graduation, but we didn’t set a date.”
I held his hand and did my best to fight the wave of panic and sadness that threatened to pull me under. I couldn’t say why. I had plans too. They weren’t concrete by any means, but I was confident they would come together. I’d gone on a few job interviews and even talked to Kelly’s dad about his offer.
Nothing intrinsically had to change for me. I could live here with Troy, work in Long Beach, and pick up an occasional coaching gig that would keep me on the ice until I was ready to hang up my skates for good. I should be excited…or at least content, right? I wasn’t.
Don’t get me wrong. I was truly happy for Ned. But I was really fuckin’ scared for me because I didn’t want to lose him. No part of me was ready to let him go. And I really doubted I’d feel any differently a month from now.
7
Ned
My life was going well. I was madly in lust with my secret boyfriend, and I was set to graduate with a BA and a master’s in engineering. Next month, I started my dream job at a well-respected tech firm. All good things. Best of all, my parents seemed impressed. About the job, that was. In fact, my dad had nothing but nice things to say about my new boss, Eric Schuster, and his business partner, Nick Jorgensen. And my mom wanted to go apartment hunting with me this weekend. She looked surprised when I begged off. Scratch that. She was gobsmacked when I explained the reason.
I didn’t want to miss my boyfriend’s hockey game.
It might not be a championship game, but it was important, nonetheless. It marked the last time Logan would take the ice with his college teammates. And according to him, it might be the last time he played at all.
I hoped that wasn’t true. He loved the sport too much to give it up entirely. I suggested coaching with Colby or finding an intramural league. He’d smiled and told me he’d figure it out, but the note of sadness in his voice threw me off.
Truthfully, Logan hadn’t been himself lately. He was still fun, upbeat, and slightly irreverent, but he was preoccupied. It didn’t take a genius to guess that the future weighed heavily on him. I felt it too. I wanted to reassure him that he’d figure it out, but he didn’t want to talk about it. So we concentrated on things we knew we enjoyed, like coffee dates, walks on the beach, and lots of sex. We even hung out with some of Logan’s friends. It was oddly liberating to watch TV and eat pizza with a bunch of hockey players and not have to act like “buddies.” Colby and Sky didn’t care, and Troy was used to me hanging around by now, and the rest of the guys didn’t seem fazed either.
Did I mention sex? It was phenomenal. We might be tender one minute and rough the next, but we were always in sync. I’d never felt more attuned to a lover in bed. I just wished we were brave enough to bring up the future. Because with every passing day, I sensed the beginning of the end.
“Earth to Ned. Here they come!” Kendra gestured wildly as our team skated onto the ice.
I perched on the edge of the bench and leaned forward. Our second-row seats made it a hell of a lot easier to see the action. I spotted number eight and grinned like a lovesick schoolgirl. Gah, he was so handsome. The helmet, pads, gloves, and jersey didn’t leave a lot to the imagination, but I had a serious advantage. I knew Logan inside and out and fuck…I loved him.
I bit the inside of my cheek and nodded absently at Kendra’s instructional commentary. I didn’t have the heart to remind her I’d spent the past few months being taught by a master. I actually knew what a face-off was now and could tell the difference between a rough but fair shove and a flat-out penalty. This game might be for fun, but I knew these guys now. They were competitive and the seniors on the team were very aware this was their final hurrah. They weren’t limping out of here without putting on a show.