2
Kalyn
The Past
Saturday nights are meant for parties.
I pull on the skinny jeans that look like they’re painted on my body before I shrug on the tight-fitting top that hugs my curves and my developing breasts. I love my figure, and I hope that Cassian will finally see me as a woman.
We’ve been friends for a year now, and since it’s my birthday, I want him to realize I’m not some teenager with a crush. There’s more to me, and I can be the partner he needs.
We challenge each other.
We laugh and have fun together.
And we also find solace when we just sit and look out at the lake in silence.
I’ve never once felt like this about someone. Most of the guys have stayed away from me because I hang out with the Thorne brothers. They’re not intimidated so much by Damien who’s the eldest, but Cassian and Finn. The Thornes instill respect in this town, but the Havens enjoy introducing fear because their families rule the town. Whispers about what they do to people who cross them have floated about the hallways for years.
Mr. Thorne, their father, runs a multi-million-dollar industry, and he’s known to be ruthless when it comes to business. But I’ve seen him with his sons, and he’s nothing but a good dad.
Both families are seen as royalty in a strange, demented way. People obey them because they know if they ever cross a Thorne or a Haven, there’ll be hell to pay.
The two families founded this town. Great grandfathers of both families founded Thorne Haven and settled here with their families. Even though the boys leave from time to time, they always return.
I guess, in some strange way, that does make them royalty.
I slip on my boots and lace them up. Once I’m ready, I take a quick glance in the mirror and note my barely-there makeup and glossy lips. My hair is a mass of curls, which I know Cassian likes. He’s commented on it many times in the past. My stomach flip-flops when my phone buzzes and I pick it up to find his name staring back at me.
He’s outside.
Grabbing my keys, I race down the stairs and out the door. Thankfully my folks are out for the evening, so I’m not questioned when I make my way to the door. As much as I love them, and I know they love me, at times, it’s stifling. I do what every other kid in this town does—party hard. It’s not like I’m any different.
When I get to Cassian’s car, I slip into the back seat and greet the boys because Finn is in the front passenger.
“Hey, Kaly,” Finn says, fist-bumping me. He’s always been like a brother, teasing and taunting me at times, but also being supportive when I needed a friend. Both brothers are always there for me, but it’s Cassian that’s garnered more than just my friendship.
Being an only child is lonely, but the Thornes make me feel wanted, as if I’m one of them.
“What’s up, sassy pants?” Cass asks, glancing at me in the rear-view mirror. It’s my nickname that has me giggling. He loves to call me that because he says I spend my life sassing him instead of listening to his advice.
“Ready to party,” I tell him. His dark brow arches at me, but I ignore it. He knows when I say party, it means I’ll be seeking out something a little stronger than alcohol.
And even though he disagrees with it, he never stops me. He’s not my dad, just a friend. Each time I do something stupid, I expect him to leave, like everyone else does. But Cassian never walks away.
But even though I want to be strong, I want to stop turning to drugs for release, memories haunt me, and I’m left with darkness swirling in my mind. The only time they ever fizzle out is when I reach for a joint and inhale the toxic fumes.
As much as I love Cassian, I weaken when I think about being numb, being empty enough to survive the heartache. And that’s when I see the disappointment in his eyes, each time I reach for a fix. Deep down, I crave the detachment that a high will bring. At least, that’s what I tell myself. It’s a way of escaping. A way for me not to feel the loneliness, the pain, and the heartbreak of real life.
Cassian doesn’t understand that; I doubt he ever will.
As we make our way to the thickly forested area close to where the town’s graveyard sits, just behind high metal fences, the sound system blares around me, surrounding me with Corvyx’s voice singing “I Got You.” As I listen to the lyrics and glance at Cassian, I wonder if the emotions in the words of the song will ever be something he feels about me.