“He’s inside. Kitchen,” Finn says before saluting me. “Good luck.” By the time he disappears, I’m nervous once more, but I force myself to head into the house that’s brought me so much happiness but also so many tears.
Time to face my past.
14
Cassian
When footsteps sound behind me, I turn around, and I’m struck speechless. Standing on the threshold of my kitchen is a girl, no, a woman, I didn’t expect to see.
“What are you doing here?”
She winces at my question, and I realize it sounded as if I were accusing her. Perhaps I am. Maybe I want her to feel pain just because I was hurt at what she said about me.
It’s petty.
I know it is, but I can’t stop myself from feeling like that, as if she needs to pay. But then when I look at her, when I remember what happened the night of the party, I realize she’s already paying.
“I needed to see you,” she finally answers, her voice taut, her hands tangling as she regards me from under her long dark lashes. She’s so beautiful, it hurts to look at her; it’s as if looking directly at the sun. The brightness is just too much for the naked eye.
“Why? Isn’t your fiancé going to get angry and jealous you’re here, still wanting me while you’re wearing his ring?” My words hurt her, it’s clear on her pretty face, but I don’t take it back.
Maybe I’m the jealous one.
It’s me who needs to rein it in.
“Cassian, I’m not with him for love,” she admits, stepping closer to where I’m leaning against the countertop. She stops near me, close enough for me to inhale her sweet scent—roses and candy. It’s a heady mixture of sweet and floral, and I bask in it for a long moment before she says, “You’ve always been—”
Her words taper off into heavy silence. It’s always been like this with us, back and forth, tension and angst following us like a cloud, reminding us that we’re supposed to be together.
But I always pushed her away. I made sure she never got too close. At least, that’s what I tell myself. But there were times we did get close, and I almost lost control.
I set down my mug and take that last step toward her. “Are you telling me every time he touches you, each time he kisses you and fucks your tight little cunt, you think of me?”
Another wince. She doesn’t move when I reach up to grip her chin between my thumb and forefinger. When I force her eyes to land on mine, I see emotion dancing wildly like flames in a breeze.
“Yes.” One word. The admission I’d been waiting for. It’s barely a whisper, but I heard her. My cock thickens in my jeans, throbbing against my zipper. I want to be inside her so badly, my blood zings with lust.
“And when you come for him?” I challenge, pushing her to admit her feelings for me even though I shouldn’t. But I do it because I want to hear the words fall from her lips. I need to listen to her voice, her desire for me.
“You’re the only man I ever wanted,” she confesses while I hold onto her. It’s only a small connection, but it’s weighty. I release her chin before sliding my hand to the back of her neck, and I pull her closer. “But I can’t cheat,” she throws out quickly as my lips brush along hers.
“You won’t cheat on a bastard like him?” I taunt, a sly grin curling my lips at the soft gasp that tumbles from her mouth.
“As much as I want this,” she tells me earnestly, her voice raw with emotion, “I’ll not be the one in the wrong.” Her palms land on my chest, the heat of her touch scorching me.
A split-second decision and I swipe my thumb along her lips, the plump flesh under my touch sends raw desire through my veins. I’m close enough to take what I want. I could kiss her, even if she doesn’t agree to it.
But I’m not a rogue.
And she means too much to me for me to force my hand.
“Then leave him,” I finally murmur. It’s almost a plea, and I’m certain she hears the imploring in my tone. “You know you don’t belong to him. He’s nothing more than a substitute for what you really want.”
This time, I’m gifted with a smile, one that used to make my chest ache. For so long, I’ve allowed my anger to blind me to her. But right now, in this moment, we’re Cass and Kaly from all those years ago. With no lies, no highs, and no fucking fiancés.
“There are things you don’t know,” she finally whispers. “I can’t tell you, but you need to believe me; if I could walk away, I would.” What she doesn’t realize is I know all about what Paulo is doing, why she’s with him. She also has no idea that I’m going to ensure he’s out of the picture. Once my plans are in place, I’ll do it.