I tease my clit and then push a finger up my lady parts and pretend that my fingers are T’s. I add another finger and pump rhythmically. The real deal would be better, but this takes the edge off. My moans grow louder as the beginnings of an orgasm start to form. I finger fuck myself faster and faster until my body explodes in an unsatisfactory orgasm. A cry leaves my lips, and I only realize how loud I am when a knock comes on the bedroom door.
“Are you okay in there?”
It’s Riley.
“I’m fine. Be out in a sec.” I turn off the shower and towel dry myself.
I grab a fresh pair of joggers and a top. With a towel wrapped around my hair like a turban, I join Riley in the living room.
She already has my laptop open, and when I enter, she looks up at me and grins. “You sounded like you were masturbating,” she says.
“Maybe.” I sit down next to her and sigh. “I swear something has gone wonky in my body. Is it normal to be horny twenty-four-seven? All I can think about is sex.”
Riley laughs. “You shouldn’t complain. A lot of women would love to have that problem.”
“I wouldn’t complain if I had a partner,” I quip, my mind shifting to Thomas.
“What happened to Doctor Sexy?” Riley says.
I groan. “Don’t ask.” I proceed to tell her about how we went for a drink and ended up having sex.
“So that’s it?” Riley says. “You two are done?”
“Yeah,” I tell her. “But it’s like sleeping with him turned on a sex switch in me. I’m constantly aroused. Is that normal?” It sounds like the ideal way to live to be perpetually horny, but it’s frustrating, not to mention I can barely concentrate on anything else.
Riley is thoughtful. “The only time I’ve ever experienced something like that was when in the first month of pregnancy. I was constantly horny.”
A thought so petrifying creeps into my mind. What if I’m pregnant? No, I couldn’t be.
“Probably the time of the month for me,” I say. “Now, let’s do this.”
Riley has already turned on my computer, and I click to access my email and then click on the link the sperm bank sent me. It immediately takes me to a page with first names that identify the donors and their profiles at a glance.
“Oh, I like that one,” she says, pointing to the second profile.
“His name is Mark, and he has dark eyes, wavy black hair, and he’s tall and big. Wait. They all have more or less the same characteristics,” Riley says. “Hang on, what specifications did you give?”
My face heats up. Without giving it any thought, I had automatically filled in Thomas’s physical details. “Dark eyes, wavy hair, tall.”
Riley turns to look at me, her eyes gleaming. “Describe Thomas for me?”
“Dark eyes, wavy hair, tall,” I tell her, my voice coated with misery.
“I’ve never seen you so hung up over a guy. Fuck, Cora, you’re in trouble. Maybe you should just ask him to be your donor.”
I make a face. “That’s what got me into trouble the last time, remember.”
She shakes her head and turns back to the computer screen. “This is weird. They all look the same. How are we going to narrow down?”
“Well, they have different occupations and hobbies. That’s a start.” My mind is not in it anymore.
Riley’s suggestion that I should ask Thomas to be my donor has got me thinking crazy stuff. We didn’t use protection. What if I did get pregnant? I remember how horrified Thomas had been at the realization that we had not used protection.
“What are you thinking?” Riley says.
“What if I’m pregnant? We didn’t use protection.”
Her eyes widen. “You didn’t use protection? Cora! You don’t know where’s he’s been and who with! I can’t believe that you’d be so careless.”
“Believe me; there’s nothing you can say to me that I haven’t said to myself,” I say, ashamed of having to admit to my carelessness.
Riley looks as if I’ve dropped the weight of the world on her shoulders. “Maybe you acted on your subconscious need to have a baby with Thomas.”
“What? Of course not! I don’t want a baby with Thomas, and he doesn’t want a baby either.”
“Why is he so against babies anyway?” Riley says.
I shrug. “I don’t know, and we really should drop this conversation. I’m not pregnant. I would know it.”
“Take a pregnancy test,” Riley says.
“Okay.” My voice comes out squeaky with fright.
Riley jumps to her feet. “I’ll go grab one in the pharmacy next door.” She’s out before I can protest. The front door bangs shut, and Riley’s footsteps fade away.
I look at the screen but see nothing. The more I think about it, the more it becomes a real possibility that I could be pregnant. My body has changed rapidly in the last week or so. It’s not just being permanently aroused. I’ve been feeling fatigued for no reason and waking up in the morning has become a struggle. And my nipples feel like they’re on fire twenty-four seven.