It was. Consequences be damned, but it was.
I was long past this deception scheme. And the ball of emotions that came with that realization collapsed down my chest, crumbling along the rest of my body and taking everything in its way with it. Real—what I was feeling had to be real.
“When I finally kiss you, there won’t be any doubt in your mind that it is real.”
I wanted it to be real. Real, real, real.
Aaron must have felt the shift in me—naturally, as he was the one person on earth who seemed to read me like he owned the only copy to The Handbook of Lina. His gaze sharpened, roaming across my face as I watched in awe how his lips parted.
It was in that precise moment that I felt like something had finally clicked into place, unhinging everything I had been keeping on a short leash.
I couldn’t know how or why. Didn’t even have the slightest idea. And wasn’t that part of the mystery of life? Part of what made it breathtakingly exciting? Unexpectedly beautiful? We couldn’t control and tame emotions to our convenience.
And what I felt for Aaron had turned into a wild beast that I mercilessly fell prey to.
That was exactly why when Aaron quietly reached for my hand, took it in his, and stood up, I followed. Every single thing that had stopped me in these past few days was obliterated in the chaos that had built around us. We had to cross the space, sidestepping people who now danced animatedly, eluding relatives with red cheeks and ruffled hair who lunged in our direction, ignoring the music filling the outdoorsy space that called everybody to the improvised dance floor. But what did I care? Nothing mattered, except following this man wherever h
e took me.
Like a glass, I had been filling up, droplet after droplet. Slowly packing all these things he had given me—the softest, most provoking touches; precious smiles that were just for me; his strength; his faith in me—to the brim and heaping with everything I had been feeling. I found myself on the verge of being toppled down. Of helplessly spilling and revealing everything I had worked so hard on bottling up.
We were somewhere outside still, perhaps on one of the sides of the patio of the restaurant. The music from the party reached my ears, muffled by the distance, and the only light illuminating this section of the garden came from a lonely lamp perched on the far edge of the building, leaving us almost in the dark.
Aaron came to a stop, finally turning around and facing me. His jaw was clenched again, the rest of his features screwed securely together so they gave nothing away.
But I knew. I knew.
My feet shuffled on the gravel beneath them, telling me this couldn’t be a frequented path for guests if my heels didn’t seem to stand still for more than a few seconds.
Or perhaps it was just me and the way my body shook, what stopped me from remaining upright.
Aaron took a step forward, his body angling toward mine. Deliciously crowding me and forcing my back to come against the coarse surface of the wall.
“Hi,” I croaked, as if we were just seeing each other after a long time. And, God, why did it feel so much like we were? Like I was finally here. Finally coming home.
I watched Aaron’s throat work, and then he took a deep breath through his nose. “Hey.” His palm came to rest on my jaw, cupping my face. “Ask me what I’m thinking.”
My heart raced with the prospect of doing so as I anticipated his answer with a trepidation I had never known. But it was better than him asking me to speak what was in mine.
“What are you thinking, Aaron?”
A hum rose in his throat, the sound deep and husky. It shot straight to my chest. “I’m thinking that you want me to kiss you.”
My blood swirled at his words, turning thicker. I do. I do.
“And I’m also thinking that if I don’t do it soon, I might lose my goddamn mind.”
The palm that was cupping my face fell, and a finger trailed down the skin of my arm.
I didn’t speak. I didn’t think I could.
His gaze traveled down my throat, leaving a path of shivers on my skin. “But I was serious when I said that when I finally took your lips, you’d know what it meant.”
He stepped closer, the tips of his shoes grazing mine, our bodies almost touching. I braced my hands on his arms, not trusting myself anymore, seeing as how I shook. How I trembled.
“Do you know now, Catalina?” His nose brushed my temple, making my breath hitch. “Do you know what this means?”
Aaron’s lips flicked along my cheekbone, making my back arch, my shoulders coming flush against the wall behind me. My lips parted, my answer stuck somewhere in my throat.