“I was able to cut his tibia and fibula very close to the growth plate, and the bones realigned very well. He’ll have to wear the fixator I attached for between eight and twelve weeks, and he’ll have physical therapy three times a week. We’ll have to make adjustments in the fixator during the process and then evaluate at the end of three months to determine if any further corrections are necessary. It’s going to be a challenging time for the whole family, but when it’s all over, Jeffrey’s legs will be as straight and strong as your own. You’ll be racing to keep up with him again.”
The three-year-old had been presented to Mitch with Blount’s disease affecting his left leg, which had bowed during growth, making it somewhat shorter than his right leg. It hadn’t been the worst case Mitch had seen by far, but he knew any procedure was drastic to the child’s adoring parents. He expected young Jeffrey to benefit significantly from the operation Mitch had just performed, leading a full, active life afterward. That was just one of the reasons Mitch loved this job.
Fifteen minutes later, after answering a dozen questions and offering a dozen more reassurances, he left the conference room, gave the eager resident a list of instructions, then headed for his office. At least something in his life was going right, he thought as weariness gradually overpowered satisfaction. He hadn’t been sleeping well this week. He’d been on call Wednesday night, and it had been a long one, leaving him drained and grumpy. Okay, so maybe there were times he didn’t love his job so much. That was normal, too.
He was greeted by quite a few coworkers on the way to his office. He’d made a lot of friends here, he thought. He passed a couple of parents of young surgical patients, returning their greetings with friendly nods. He was accustomed to the respectful manner with which he was often treated—after all, these people had literally placed their children’s well-being in his hands. He never wanted to let himself take that trust for granted or to let himself get jaded to the jumbled emotions his patients and their families had to deal with during medical crises.
Accepting a stack of messages from his always-organized secretary, he carried them into his office and tossed them onto his cluttered desk before falling into his chair. He had calls to return, reports to file, dictation to do—but it could all wait for just a minute, he thought, scrubbing his hands over his face.
“Here. Looked like you could use this.”
His secretary placed a steaming cup of coffee on his desk and gave him a sympathetic smile before returning to her own work.
Gratefully, he sipped the freshly brewed beverage, thinking he really should buy her some flowers or something. She’d gone beyond the call of duty during the past month. He hoped she knew how much he appreciated how efficiently she kept his professional life running, his schedule straight, his correspondence completed. Glancing at the door she had closed behind her, he wished fleetingly that he could turn over all his problems to her and have her handle them with the same firm hand.
Maybe then he could go to bed again without lying awake wondering why he had let Jacqui send him away. Wondering if he should have fought harder to hang on to something that had been so special. Wondering what kind of an idiot walked away from a woman like that just because she had very bravely and honestly informed him that she was the long-term-commitment type.
Hadn’t he really known that all along? She’d certainly made it clear from the start that she’d had enough of drifting in her rootless childhood. She’d told him she was saving for a home of her own—and he had seen the pure lust on her face when they’d toured that Craftsman-style house in Hillcrest. Unlike him, Jacqui knew exactly what she wanted, and she was pursuing it with single-minded determination. He wished he had her clear-sightedness, her certainty of what it would take to make her happy.
With a wince, he remembered the way she had compared him to a short-term lease while she looked for a place to settle for the duration. Her words had been blunt, a little jumbled, but ultimately effective. He’d gotten the message clearly enough. She wasn’t willing to settle. Wasn’t willing to risk too much on a guy who wasn’t prepared to offer forever.
What she hadn’t said was whether she would be interested if he did want to spend the rest of his life with her. Was he no more to her than another furnished apartment—nice enough to spend some time there while she looked for the place she really wanted?
Another real estate metaphor, he thought, muttering an exasperated curse. But apt enough to make his shoulders sag in despairing self-recrimination.
He never wanted to hurt Jacqui. He’d do anything to prevent that—even stay far away from her, if that was what she wanted. But apparently he’d left more behind than he’d realized when he’d walked away. Judging from the emptiness inside him, he’d left a sizable piece of his heart. Did he have the courage to offer her the rest of it? And would she even accept it if he did?
Heaving a long sigh, he turned his focus to his work. As always, he had a stack of responsibilities waiting for his attention.
Jacqui tried to ignore the guilt she felt while sitting across the kitchen table from LaDonna Baker, sharing tea and cookies on Wednesday afternoon, eleven days after Jacqui had broken up with Mitch. Not that there had been much to break up, she told herself as she toyed with a cookie she didn’t really want, just to have something to do with her hands during this visit.
LaDonna had dropped by with a pretty top for Alice that she’d found on a sale rack that afternoon. “I couldn’t resist it,” she’d admitted to Jacqui. “The color will look so pretty on Alice.”
Unfortunately, Alice wasn’t there to accept the gift. School was already in session during this final week of August, having started Monday morning. After school, Alice would be competing in her last swim match of the season. Seth had arranged to attend that match, then he and Alice planned to meet Meagan for dinner, so Jacqui would be headed home soon. No one to cook for tonight but herself, she thought. Maybe she’d order a pizza and watch a little TV. That sounded like a perfectly nice evening. She wished she could look forward to it a little more.
Jacqui had invited LaDonna in for a snack and a chat, and the older woman had eagerly agreed. She didn’t work on Wednesdays and it was sometimes difficult to entertain herself, she confessed. But maybe she had overdone it a bit that day. She was tired from her shopping excursion, and tea and a chat sounded like a lovely way to recuperate.
“You’d think I’d be over empty nest syndrome by now,” she said as they lingered over the tea. “After all, my youngest child turned twenty-eight last week.”
LaDonna’s house had been empty only since last November, when she’d lost her mother, who had lived with her for several years. Jacqui thought it wasn’t so unusual that LaDonna’s home still felt empty to her at times after living th
ere so long with her late husband, her now-grown children and then her mother. It must be difficult to make that transition from a full house to a quiet one. And LaDonna was still relatively young. It was no wonder she sometimes felt at loose ends.
“Did you buy anything for yourself during your shopping trip?” Jacqui asked.
“No,” LaDonna admitted. “Just the top for Alice and that bag I described to you for Madison. Oh, and I got a lovely set of hand towels for a nice young couple from my church who is getting married next month. Half off, plus I had an extra-fifteen-percent coupon,” she boasted.
Jacqui laughed. “Congratulations.”
“I saw lots of nice things I thought Mitch could use, but because he can’t seem to make up his mind if he’s going to buy or rent his next place I wasn’t sure exactly what he’d need. It’s been five weeks since his duplex burned, and I know that’s not a lot of time, but still, he should be making some progress in deciding what he wants. I swear, all that boy can think about is his work and his upcoming trip to Peru.”
It took all her fortitude for Jacqui to keep smiling and speak lightly. “He’s still very excited about that trip, I suppose.”
“Well, yes.”
Something in LaDonna’s tone made Jacqui’s eyebrows rise. “That didn’t sound very certain.”
“It’s just that—well, he was so excited up until a week or so ago. Now he just seems distracted all the time. And he looks so tired. I guess he’s been working like crazy to clear his schedule for the time off. I fussed at him over the phone yesterday, told him he’s going to have to start getting some rest. Which would be easier, I said, if he were sleeping someplace other than a hotel. I wish he’d just move in with me while he makes his decision.”