All of a sudden, I had a future. I could have friends. I could have a job. I could do anything.
As long as I took my pill every morning.
I don’t control my tiger the way every other shifter in the world controls theirs, because it’s natural to them. Because they’re stronger than it is. It’s not natural to me, and she’s stronger than me. The only way I can keep control of her is by taking pills.
I tried to tell myself it didn’t matter. Whatever works is whatever works, right? But in my heart, I always knew there was something wrong with me, and some day it would catch up to me. And it has.
Just when you need me the most, I’m a danger to you. Because I’m weak. A liability. A freak…
Chapter 11
Ethan
Ethan had never seen Destiny cry before. He’d seen her upset and worried, like when her teammate Shane had been shot, but even then she’d stayed strong for his sake. She’d always been so cheerful and tough, it had seemed like she’d never had a moment of weakness or self-doubt in her life.
But then she’d told him her story. He hadn’t interrupted, letting her get it all out, but he’d watched as she struggled at times just to get the words out. And now tears flowed down her cheeks as she sat there calling herself names. Weak. A liability. A freak…
“Whoa, whoa!” Ethan sat straight up, grabbing for her hand. “Destiny, you’re none of those things. Don’t ever call yourself any of that crap again.”
She jerked her hand out of his grip. “But it’s true. Everyone else can control their shift. I’m the only shifter in the world who can’t do it unless I swallow a pill!”
“So what? That doesn’t say anything bad about you. I had a friend in high school who had diabetes. Would you say he was weak and flawed and a freak because he had to give himself an insulin shot every day?”
“That’s different.”
“How?” Ethan demanded. “How is it different?”
“It’s a shifter thing. You can’t understand.”
Ethan had developed a deep hatred of those words. They were the exact ones she’d used when she’d rejected him, all those years ago. It was true that he wasn’t a shifter, and couldn’t know what it was like to be one. All the same, it didn’t seem like any other shifters, other than that one snob aunt, had looked down on Destiny for being the way she was. Instead, they’d done their best to help her.
He pictured her at eleven, and the image made him smile.
“What?” she asked suspiciously.
“You must’ve been an awfully cute little girl. You had an entire town bending over backward to help you.”
“They were just nice.”
He flicked her arm. “You were adorable. Admit it. Chubby cheeks? Little pigtails? Pastel plastic barrettes shaped like animals?”
She sniffled, swiped her hand across her eyes, and gave him a wavering smile. “Right on all counts. Four pigtails tied top and bottom with dangly pastel plastic balls. When I see photos of me, I want to pinch my cheeks.”
“It was more than that, though, wasn’t it? Sure, you were a cute kid. And it sounds like the shifter community likes to help each other out, and that one town was extra-nice, and Mataji obviously enjoyed a challenge. But you also had Al Flores offer you flying lessons when you were eleven. You had shifters all around the world emailing each other to try to help you.”
“Lik
e I said. They were nice.”
“I’m sure they were. But I think they also saw something special in you. I think they saw a girl who was brave beyond her years, who’d spent her entire life locked up but jumped straight into an adventure the instant she got a chance, who’d been knocked down a thousand times and got up a thousand and one.”
He laid his hand over hers. This time she didn’t pull it away. She listened, her beautiful eyes huge and glistening, as if she wanted to believe.
Ethan went on, “Mataji told you straight-up that you were in for something incredibly difficult and dangerous, and it was your choice whether you wanted to risk it. You chose to take that risk. And you were only eleven! Yeah, you are different from most people. You’re braver. You’re tougher. You’re more determined. Destiny, the only person who’s ever thought you were weak or flawed was you. Everyone else saw a girl who was fighting so hard, it inspired them to go above and beyond to give her a chance.”
She lowered her head. Her short braids swung forward, shadowing her face. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe that’s how other people saw me. But even if I was brave and determined and all that, it wasn’t good enough. And it’s still not good enough.”
Destiny raised her head, and he saw something else in her eyes that he’d never seen before. It was fear. “Ethan, I’m losing control. I can feel it. I’m having to fight my tiger again, and it’s harder every time. Sooner or later, I’m going to lose. It’s angry. It’s an animal that wants to hunt and kill. I can’t risk it getting out around you. I think you should stay here, and I’ll go to the base.”