“Good lord. And here I always thought you were the hellraiser.”
“Nah. Both of us.” He gulped at the tea, obviously trying to drink it quickly enough that he wouldn’t have to taste it. “Maybe she stopped after a while. I wasn’t there.”
Hoping to distract him from the revolting tea, she said, “How old were you when your parents split up?”
“Ten.” Ethan took another gulp. “They split up me and Ellie too. Dad moved across the country and took me with him. Before that, she and I had been inseparable. After, we saw each other once a year at Christmas.”
“That’s rough. I can’t imagine.”
“Aren’t your parents divorced too?”
“Yeah, but Dad moved literally three blocks away. I saw him nearly every day, stayed over every weekend. It was years before Mom re-married, but my little brother calls his father Daddy and my father Papa.” Destiny hadn’t thought much about what that must have been like from her parents’ perspective, but now she realized how hard it had probably been. “Mom and Dad really knocked themselves out make sure we all stayed a family, even though they weren’t in love any more. I don’t think I ever told them how grateful I am.”
“You should. Ellie and I would’ve given anything for that.” Ethan tipped up the mug to get the last drops, swallowed, and shuddered. “Got anything to get the taste out of my mouth?”
He needs meat, raw and dripping with blood, her tiger advised. I’ll pull down a deer and rip out its heart. You can bring it to him, still warm and quivering. That will give him strength.
Not enough yeccch in the world, returned Destiny.
She offered Ethan another cup, this one filled with fresh-squeezed mango juice. His hands were steadier now, and he was able to hold it without help.
“I have another herbal thing for your cuts,” she said. “It should stop them from getting infected and help them heal faster. It might sting a bit.”
He smiled. “I think I can grit my teeth and bear a little stinging.”
She pulled back the covers and began gently smoothing the salve she’d prepared into the incredible array of cuts and scrapes that marred his smooth skin. He felt a little less hot; she hoped that was real and not wishful thinking.
Ethan sighed, but with relief rather than pain, and she felt his taut muscles relax under her fingers. “It doesn’t sting at all. It feels good, actually… Hey, how’d you learn all this? This is way more sophisticated than anything I learned in SERE training.”
“When looking for edible grubs, turn over rocks before shoving your hand under them?”
“Just takes one scorpion sting to teach you that lesson. And by the way, thanks for not bringing me grubs. I don’t think I could stomach them.” Then, his steady gaze fixed on hers, he persisted, “Listen, if I’m asking about something that’s classified, just say, ‘Forget it, jarhead,’ and I’ll never ask again.”
“It’s not classified.” Destiny only realized that her hands were trembling when the salve smeared over his belly. She had to tell him. Otherwise, if she had to run, he’d think she’d been killed, or abandoned him. But the thought of him knowing just how flawed she was filled her with a horrible mixture of cold fear and hot shame. “I… I…”
“Hey.” He laid his hand over hers. It was cooler: no longer fever-hot, just human-warm. But his blue-green gaze burned like a flame. “If something bad happened to you here… If someone hurt you when you were a little girl, that is nothing to be ashamed of. I’d never think badly of you because of something that was done to you against your will, or of something you did because you had to do it to survive…”
“No!” To her horror, tears had thickened her throat, making her denial come out in a gulp. “No, no one ever hurt me here. They saved me! It’s me that’s the problem, me that’s weak, me that’s—that’s a danger to you, Ethan!”
The anger and passion faded from his eyes, leaving them soft and bewildered. “How could you ever be a danger to me?”
She had to protect him. This was the only way. At long last, she had to tell him the awful truth that meant he would never again look at her with trust, but only with fear. And, worse, disappointment. He’d only desired her because she’d let him believe she was desirable. And now he’d learn the truth.
Taking a deep breath, she said, “Because I was born wrong.”
Chapter 10
Destiny’s Story
You ever hear of a “throwback?” It’s when you’re born with some trait that your ancestors had, one that died out up until you. Like, Siberian huskies were bred from wolves, but that was thousands of years ago. Now they’re just dogs that look a bit like wolves. You can tell the difference because huskies have blue or brown or black eyes, but a wolf’s eyes are yellow or green.
But every now and then, a Siberian husky is born with yellow or green eyes. It’s a throwback to its wolf ancestors. That makes it flawed. Defective. It’s fine as a pet or sled dog, but it can’t be exhibited at dog shows and they won’t let it breed.
I’m a throwback. Like those yellow-eyed huskies. Born wrong.
Hundreds of years ago, my ancestors were tiger shifters. But I was descended from the ones who had human mates, and whose kids had human mates. Eventually, the ability to shift died out. By my grandparents’ time, no one was still alive who could remember anyone who had been able to shift. By my time, it was a family legend that no one believed in any more.
Until me.