Tem and his sister kissed their father goodnight, but he didn’t seem to notice them as he stood in front of the fireplace and stared into it.
When he came up the ladder to try to sleep in Dallas’s bed, Tem was still awake. He had been thinking a great deal.
“Papa?”
“You should be asleep.”
“Do you think that Carrie is wonderful?”
“I think that Carrie has never been anything but adored in her life. She’s never had to work; she’s never been denied anything in her life.” Josh turned and knelt by his son’s bed. “I know that you like her. I know that she’s cheerful, and, Lord knows, you children deserve some laughter in your life after what you’ve been through in the last couple of years, but you’re going to have to trust me on this. Carrie is not the mother for you children.”
Tem sat up on his elbows. “Is she the wife for you? If you didn’t have us, would you marry her?”
Josh smiled. “I might just be fool enough to do so. But you children have made me wise, much too wise to stay with a butterfly like Carrie. Now, go to sleep. A month after she’s gone, you won’t even remember her.” He kissed his son’s forehead and began to undress.
But Tem didn’t go to sleep as he lay back on the bed and looked at the attic ceiling. It was his fault that his father and Carrie didn’t love each other. His and Dallas’s fault.
Chapter Eight
The next day, Carrie and Josh didn’t find out that Tem was missing until Josh came home from the fields. Since Josh was still smarting under the hurt of Carrie’s laughing at his fields and the desertion of his children, he didn’t return to the house until nearly nine o’clock at night.
The scene that greeted him upon opening the door should have made him happy, but instead, it made him even more angry than he already was. Dallas was standing on a stool, and Carrie was pinning up the hem of a new dress for her—a dress that Josh could not afford to buy for his daughter. The little house was cheerful and redolent of good smells, and Carrie, his wife who was not his wife, looked lovely. More than anything in the world Josh wanted to shout that he was home and have his wife and child run to his open arms.
As it was, he walked in quietly and hung his hat on the peg by the door.
“Papa!” Dallas cried and started to leap down from the stool, but Carrie helped her.
His warm, clean daughter flew into his arms and snuggled into his neck. This was what made the fields bearable, he thought, this was what made his unhappiness worth something.
“We have roast beef for dinner and Mrs. Emmerling made cookies and I think my doll’s hair is growing.”
As Josh stroked his daughter’s hair, he thought that it was good to see her clean again. In the months that he had been running the farm, he hadn’t had time to see to the cleanliness of his children. He had too much to do in trying to feed and clothe them. “Her hair’s growing, is it?” Josh asked, smiling. He hadn’t even been able to give his daughter a doll.
Standing behind them, Carrie was smiling, and Josh knew he’d never seen a prettier female in his life, with her trim little waist and her blonde hair—and her body that wasn’t his.
“Good evening,” Josh said stiffly. “I take it the woman you hired has prepared dinner.”
Carrie turned away, the smile gone. “Yes, she did.” She looked back at Josh. “Where’s Tem?”
“He’s with you,” Josh said quickly as though she were too dumb to know that she’d had Tem all day.
Carrie stood there blinking for a moment, then began to turn a bit pale. She went into the bedroom and returned with a note from Tem saying that he was going to spend the day with his father.
Without a word, Josh reached inside his shirt pocket and withdrew another note from Tem. This one said that Tem was going to spend the day with Carrie.
“Maybe he wanted to go fishing,” Carrie said, but she didn’t believe that. Without a doubt, she knew that wherever Tem was and whatever he was doing had something to do with her and Josh.
Josh was across the room in seconds as he grabbed Carrie’s shoulders. “Where is he? Where is my son?” he shouted into her face.
“I don’t know,” Carrie answered. “I thought he was with you all day.”
Josh gave her a shake. “Where is he?” he yelled, as though the very loudness of his voice would make her remember something she didn’t know.
“Don’t hurt Carrie,” Dallas cried, clutching her father’s legs. “Tem will be back. He said he would.”
Both Carrie and Josh turned to look at her, then Josh dropped to one knee. “Where is your brother?” he asked softly.
Dallas backed into the safety of Carrie’s skirt. “He made me swear not to tell. He said something bad would happen to me if I told.”